Tony whipped his head around as Larry fell to the pavement. He then bent down, ostensibly to keep up the facade that he was surprised by the attack but really, instinctively, out of worry, the faint streetlight showing no blood on Larry's clothes. Larry had moved his hand to where he had been hit, making Tony realise he was still wearing his Kevlar. Larry was likely winded, and might have a bump on his head from hitting it on the ground, but was not dead or close to it. It wouldn't be long before Larry figured out what was going on. Tony couldn't let that happen, not this late in the game.
Larry started trying to sit up, using his other hand to point behind him. Tony turned to see Galvez, readily pointing the shotgun. Realising Larry was mustering his energy to warn Tony only made him feel worse. God, was he really about to betray him like this? Letting Galvez kill him hadn't really fazed him five seconds ago, but now Tony felt it was somehow important that he see this through personally. Larry deserved honesty.
It had been easy to convince himself he was capable when it had been a plan on paper, but now that it was a tangible reality, it aggravated the gnawing guilt in his stomach he tried most days to ignore. The look of fear and confusion in Larry's eyes was only part of it; when he had infiltrated the Starkwood base and seen the lab with his own eyes, the test tubes, the Hazmat suits, the gas canisters, he had begun to reconsider where he drew the line. The reminders of the Cordilla virus hadn't helped, either. However, that questioning, conscientious voice competed with an aching, emotional counterpart that screamed about how after everything he had been through, he needed to make the world hurt as much as he had. The government that should have supported and protected him and the people he cared about had betrayed him, more than once. He had done all the right things yet been punished time and time again while criminals had gotten away with everything, so he was taking matters into his own hands.
He raised his hand, silently telling Galvez to stand down. When he looked at Larry again, he was wide-eyed. There was no more plausible deniability. He had to clean up after himself. Even if they bolted and got a head-start, Larry would want to hunt him down with a vengeance.
"I'm sorry, Larry," Tony said regrettably, before clasping his hand over Larry's nostrils and mouth.
Larry's hands came to seize his wrist, but Tony pushed down, using his knee to dig in to where he had been shot. He recognised how brutal this was. It was one thing to shoot him: it was another to hold him down and watch the life drain from his eyes. Tony believed he was, in part, going about it this way to assure himself he could cross whatever line he had to to get to Alan Wilson. If he was really dedicated to his cause, then this shouldn't be a problem for him. Although Larry had eventually come to trust him and shown a degree of understanding, he was still part of the system that had taken everything from him; he was still complicit. As soon as he started mentally referring to the government as the system, his voice of conscience sounded a lot more like David, an association that brought up even more guilt. Tony closed his eyes for a moment, trying to shove those thoughts down and ignore Larry's physical and verbal protests.
But that moment changed everything.
With incredible force, Tony was sent flying onto his back, much the way Larry had been before. There was a gunshot, then a thud behind him he would later realise was Galvez's body hitting the concrete. His head spun from whiplash. He couldn't understand how Larry had suddenly overpowered him, wondering whether an explosion had occurred or there was some fourth person here unaccounted for.
Larry then appeared in his field of view, hovering over him with a look of disillusion. However, Tony was less concerned with Larry seeking revenge for his attempted murder, instead fixated on the very odd, yet very familiar, deep brown colour of his eyes.
"That was a mistake," Larry gritted through his teeth, but when he spoke, it sounded like two people shouting over each other, one of which was again, very familiar. "I trusted you, you son of a bitch. How could you?"
Somewhere in his subconscious, he was slowly processing what he was hearing and seeing within Larry, impossible as it might be, but fear was at the forefront of his mind. What was happening? Was this some manifestation of his guilt? Of years and years of repressed guilt? Had he hit his head that hard? It would explain why he could swear there was a vague, faded image of her next to Larry, looking just as angry. It was like they had the same mannerisms, same facial expressions, same everything. This had to be his conscience. This was a Hail Mary to, literally, knock some sense into him and make him realise that, one, his plan was insane, and two, whatever fulfilment he thought he might get out of it would be nothing compared to the guilt and self-loathing that would weigh on his soul for the rest of time.
Tony tried to speak, but came up empty. He didn't think he could make excuses to Larry, especially not as he realised Larry had his gun.
"Oh, believe me, we're going to talk about this, Tony. You're not going anywhere," he said (she said? they both said?) in an impending tone, like he was reading his mind — and he now considered that a genuine possibility — before the butt of the gun collided with his temple and everything went black.
When Tony came to, his body was resting against something soft, though the side of his head throbbed. He could smell mothballs, the lighting above him dim and warm. He could hear voices muttering quietly, but it was hard to make out words when his ears were ringing. As his vision focused, he only saw one figure standing in front of him, making him question whether he had a concussion.
He sat up with a groan, wiping his eye with the heel of his hand.
"Are you alright?" Michelle asked.
"Yeah," he replied weakly, still too out of it to acknowledge it was impossible for him to actually be hearing her.
"Good."
The resounding crack of Larry's hand slapping his cheek finally woke him up.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Michelle roared.
Larry stood in front of him, his arms folded and face angry in a way that was scarily reminiscent of Michelle, like he had studied her mannerisms for years and absorbed them into his own. His eyes were undeniably the colour of hers, and there was no doubting it was her voice coming out of his mouth. It would have frightened and confused him under regular circumstances, but he was particularly worried since it was clear to her what he had been up to since her death and she was far from impressed. He figured he should say something, but what, exactly? I'm sorry for trying to kill you?
"How- Is it… is it really you?" he uttered stupidly.
Larry's (Michelle's? God damn it...) expression softened in a way that was very her. "Yes," she confirmed. "What you're hearing is real. I'm in Larry's body; he and I share a soul. But before I explain why and how, you have a lot to answer for."
He supposed he did.
"You tried to kill him," she stated bluntly, but she didn't just look angry. No, she looked… heartbroken, disappointed. "The fact that you didn't know I was in his body is irrelevant. He was going to vouch for you. He saw the good in you, just like I did, and you were going to kill him– kill us."
There really was nothing he could say to that. Yes, he would have killed Larry as a means to an end. It was clear to him, and it was clear to the two of them as well. Larry had been so afraid when Tony had met his eyes and started suffocating him. The thought that Michelle had seen it all, felt it all, that, really, he had been trying to kill her and the small part of good left in his conscience made him ill.
"Would you have felt bad even if it was just Larry?" she asked.
He lifted a shoulder, feeling utterly pathetic as it seemed she already knew the answer to her question, but wanted to hear him say it. "Yes," he said truthfully. "I would have."
"But you wouldn't have regretted it."
Tony looked away. "No."
There was a huff that sounded much more like Larry than Michelle. He was sure if he let Michelle go on, there would be a lot more questions not just about tonight, but about earlier in the day, and the last six years. However, there were some more pressing ones on his end.
"Where are we?"
She rolled her eyes, clocking that he was trying to change the topic. "I'm surprised you didn't figure it out: this is the motel you were meant to meet Galvez at. I found the text in your phone."
"Does the FBI know we're here?"
"No, we've gone dark since we figured we were going to be here for a while, but I wouldn't put it past them to find us eventually."
It was bizarre to just casually speak to her. If he closed his eyes or didn't look up, it was pretty much like she was there. Tony didn't just think that was because he was removing the image of Larry's body from his mind, rather because of something he could feel. Michelle had mentioned something about her and Larry's souls being connected. Could it be that he was sensing her? That her presence was tangible, even if it was invisible? He was struggling to keep it together. He had been since losing David earlier today, and now the shock of this was making it that much harder. He couldn't lie to her, and she would see right through any cold, insolent facade he attempted to put up. But deep down, perhaps within his own soul, it overjoyed him to just hear her voice. She was here with him. He had missed her so much, and it hurt to think that instead of sharing this moment together and being happy about it, she was practically interrogating him. But given what he had just tried to do, he supposed that was pretty fair.
"Are you really not going to say anything?" she asked. "Not even an apology?"
"Well, you'll have to forgive me when I don't even know who I'm apologising to!" he countered. "How did this even happen? You and Larry… sharing a soul."
She still looked furious, and he honestly expected her to shut him down and insist he explain his side of the story first. Instead, she paused, looking at the ground. Her lips moved, but no sound came out. Tony wondered whether she and Larry could communicate to each other mentally. That seemed to be a logical conclusion to draw.
"Alright, fine," she conceded. "Clearly, you're not going to talk until you get your answers." She leaned against the small desk next to the bed he had woken up on, sighing. "You know how there's the concept of a doppelgänger? Someone who isn't related to you but looks exactly like you, just by chance?"
He nodded.
"It turns out there's a similar theory for people's souls. Someone out there is spiritually but independently similar to you. They have the same beliefs, the same priorities, the same values. They experience life the way you do. You and that person would probably make the same choices under the same circumstances. Larry and I are kindred souls, or soulmates, as some people call themselves — even though it has nothing to do with love or relationships," she explained. "Now, normally, that doesn't really affect a person. They'll probably go their whole life without knowing they have a soulmate. More often than not, their soulmate is far, far away from them. But if, by some series of events, someone dies at the same time as their soulmate, one spirit can help revive the other. It's a little like organ donation: the donor has to be a good match for the host. In our case… Larry got shot when the bomb in my car went off. As for whose spirit goes where, it's fifty-fifty." She gestured to herself. "Obviously, my spirit went into his body."
Although thinking about souls in such a logical and scientific way was a little strange, it did make some sense. From the moment he had met Larry today, he had noted a similarity between him and Michelle. They both valued the law, doing the right thing, and the greater good, although Michelle was probably a little more lenient in bending the rules for the right reasons than Larry was; still, Tony would put that down to the differences between CTU and the FBI rather than each other. Even if he ignored how his brain was now analysing every interaction they had had, trying to recall whether Michelle's voice had seeped through Larry's or his eyes had flickered brown for just a moment, that similarity was still apparent.
"Does anybody else know about this?"
Michelle shook her head. "Larry and I agreed it would be best if I stayed in his subconscious. We can mentally communicate, but only one of us can speak at a time, and the change in eye colour would freak people out. From the research we did, whatever other soulmates exist, few as they may be, many of them have been institutionalised, drugged, experimented on, so we were trying to keep ourselves safe. Given that I'm basically a 'guest' in Larry's body, I felt it was fair to let him have his life. It took a bit of getting used to. For me, being able to see things happening but having to suppress my reaction, and for him, hearing two voices of conscience in his head, even if they agreed on everything ninety-five percent of the time." She lifted a shoulder. "I was content with sharing this body until the FBI found out you were alive, and that was when I felt like I had to do something."
Her eyes crinkled. "You have no idea how… how happy I was to find out you were out there after trying to grieve inside the body of someone who hadn't known you, on the opposite side of the country when I couldn't go to your grave. Then when I found out how you were alive, I-I was so confused, so hurt, racking my brain trying to figure out what you were doing. But Larry was there for me." She then huffed, clearing her throat like she was trying to remind herself to stay on topic, that this was not catching up, that she was still furious with him and needed to make that clear. "Of course, when you tried to kill us, I didn't really feel like taking a backseat was appropriate," she said, meeting his eye.
"How did you overpower me?" he asked, hoping they would realise the question came from a place of curiosity, not displeasure that they had done so.
"For that second, we were both so angry, angry and scared in the same way about the same thing, so we both managed to take control. I don't think we have superpowers per se, but two minds working together are more powerful than one."
That explained why the force had been so great. He wondered whether they could learn to focus that power, or if it was a one-off, like when a mother lifted a car to rescue her child. It was pretty amazing, and pretty fortunate that she had ended up in his path. If it weren't for the underlying tension of the situation, he would be in awe. He wondered how many people were out there like this. Given the conditions for this to happen, not many, he assumed. Tony also wondered if there had ever been a case where one soul had forcibly tried to take over, but figured that was unlikely if the two people had to share the same values and morals for it to work. He also thought about whether this could be replicated, whether if Michelle and Larry died at the same time as another soulmate, then three souls could share the same body. It made his head spin.
"God, I can't even recognise you," Michelle said after a beat, her voice glum. "I've been trying to get a read on you all day, and even now that we're alone, it's difficult."
His brow furrowed.
"When you fall in love with someone… really fall in love with someone, your soul changes to be like theirs. I gave you a part of me, and you gave me a part of yourself. Even though I had no idea how to quantify it before this happened, I always felt that connection between us. But now… i-it's barely there, it's so overpowered by darkness. I know it's natural for people to change, and I know that you've been hurting for a long time, but it's terrifying how little I can feel from you." She wasn't even reprimanding him, she just sounded concerned, seemingly for his sake. "I need to understand what happened. When Emerson took you in, something changed in you, Tony."
He shrugged helplessly. She wasn't particularly badmouthing David, so there was no denying her claims or jumping to his defence like he used to. David had taken him in when he had been broken, and built him back up with rage and resentment for everything he used to stand for. He had drilled it into Tony's head that he had been used and abused by the government, and that if he had any self-worth left, he would stand up for himself. At the time, it had felt like the only way to move on. Jack had been in China. The Sentox conspiracy had run — still ran — so far and wide that he hadn't wanted to risk trusting anyone he knew, even though he had eventually come to Bill and Chloe for help. David had been there for him, first as a friend, and later more, and it had been everything. He never would have pictured himself trusting and giving himself over to someone so quickly, but with David, he had just felt like, on an intimate level, he had already known him. He wasn't one to believe in reincarnation — although, maybe he should start — but had loosely rationed it as fate bringing them together.
"I won't make excuses," Tony said. "But all I can tell you is that I felt connected to David right off the bat in a way that never really made sense to me. Maybe with your research, you can help me figure out why."
There was a slight look of scepticism that seemed to be more Larry than Michelle, and the silence indicated they were clearly discussing it. Maybe Michelle was desperately searching for some spiritual reason for his change, while Larry was trying to insist that he had made his choices of his own accord. It was probably a bit of both, if Tony was being honest.
"Did David ever mention having a near-death experience?" Michelle asked. "Coming back from something he really shouldn't have?"
"Actually, he did," Tony answered. "It was the whole reason he left the BAF."
Her eyebrows rose.
"His whole team was killed, and nobody tried to find them. He was the only survivor. He disappeared, let the government think he was dead, and took matters into his own hands."
She motioned with her head to a laptop on the desk. "Is this yours?"
"Yeah, I stashed it here. What do you need?"
"I assume you have access to government databases?" she asked drily.
He let out a breath. "Yeah."
Michelle passed Tony the laptop, and he proceeded to unlock it and load up the databases in question, ensuring his VPN and firewall protections were in place. She took it from him, and he watched as she silently worked away, unsure where she was going with this.
"The day David went on that mission and was presumed dead was the same day Nina died."
"What?"
"I think Nina and David are soulmates, and she went into his body," she postulated.
Tony squinted at her. "Where the hell are you getting this from?"
"I'm basing it off what I know about David, and what I remember about Nina," Michelle explained. "If they shared a soul when you met David, it explains why you fell for him so easily: the connection was already there from when you and Nina were together."
He sputtered. "I… I didn't love Nina."
"You wouldn't have felt so betrayed by her if you hadn't cared for her like that," she pointed out. "I'm not blaming you or saying that was wrong. I'm just saying that maybe you did love her, just a little, and that's what David used to manipulate you, because your soul already recognised his."
Of all things to bring up from his past, this was not what he had expected. But as he tried to connect the dots, it unfortunately made a lot of sense. They had been similar. Both of them primarily valued money and trust — although Nina had no problem stabbing someone in the back; she just didn't want it in return — and had a vendetta against the federal government. Even though he had fallen for a very different version of Nina to her true self all those years ago, his youth and naivety had probably led him to, yes, love her. It did not excuse his actions. He might be stubborn and, to a degree, in denial, but he wasn't going to blame it all on that connection — especially since they couldn't prove it.
"Why didn't Nina speak through him, then?" Tony countered.
"Maybe she and David agreed that if you knew she was involved, you would think twice about working for him — and I would like to think if you realised Nina was pulling the strings, that you would have run away."
That was a fair point. Another thing that came to mind was David's tendency to pause when he spoke. Tony had always put it down to David being articulate and careful with his words, aware of their power, but realised now it was plausible that he had just been talking to Nina, the same way Michelle paused between sentences to speak to Larry. This was a lot to think about. It made him incredibly uncomfortable to realise how much Nina had been privy to over the last six years. He had poured his heart out to David, and she had listened to every word, probably plotting how to use it all against him. At the same time, he was still thinking about how disappointed Michelle must be in him just for what she had witnessed today, let alone what she would have read in his file. If it weren't for everything that was still going on, he would want nothing more than to talk for hours to try to reach some point of understanding. He likened it to some spiritually enhanced form of talk therapy he probably should have sought at some point over the last six years.
"Look, there's a lot to talk about, but we don't have time," Michelle said, having come to the same conclusion as him. He wondered whether that was from their apparent lingering spiritual connection or because Larry was stressed about how the FBI might feel if they found out he had gone off on his own to talk with him. There was probably enough paranoia among agents already.
"I agree, so what's the plan?"
Her head shot up, and Tony saw the colour of her eyes change from brown back to blue. "What do you mean, what's the plan?" Larry snapped, placing his hands on his hips and staring at him in disbelief. "We're going back to the FBI to hand in the canister and your intel."
While that was indeed the right thing to do, a stubborn part of him wasn't ready to quit just yet, not when he was so close, not when he had lost so much in his pursuit already and his heart was still aching to get what he had wanted for so long. Even though speaking to Michelle had brought him more solace than she would ever know, the knowledge that, for the time being, she was here, healing part of him, he still craved revenge. It wasn't quite about personal satisfaction anymore, now his sense of justice that had been so twisted by grief and pain. Nobody was going to let him continue, obviously, but maybe he could at least explain there were some righteous intentions to his plans.
"Actually, that's something we still don't know: why did you ask that guy to take it for you in the first place?" Larry asked.
He knew this would have out eventually, but he was now hyperaware that Michelle was going to find out, too. He never thought he would have to confess his sins to her, not like this. He had sometimes wondered whether she could look down on him from the afterlife, but never seriously. However, right now, he had to suck it up and realise that she already knew a lot more than he was comfortable with, so she was not going to let this part, the most important part, go.
When he looked up and met her eyes, not Larry's, he gulped. It was like she wanted to make this more painful for him, like she didn't want to give him the benefit of only visually confessing to Larry. She was still furious with him, and he had to realise that would override any joy she had from being able to speak to him. He could not win her over. Sentimentality was not going to make everything okay.
Tony sighed. "The real man behind the Sentox conspiracy, responsible for your death, and Palmer's assassination is still out there," he started. "His name is Alan Wilson. He's at the top of the food-chain. He was behind Charles Logan. He controls a cabal of private military executives. Their primary objective is to allow terrorist attacks on American soil to force the government to depend on them. I got close to one of the cabal members, pretending I believed in their cause, so I could try to get myself into a room with him."
"So you wanted to kill him," Michelle concluded. "You were going to sell the canister to him as an excuse to set up a meeting, not caring about what he or his people might do with it."
He wished it were that simple, but, God, she already sounded so disappointed. Tony shook his head. "It took me years to find this guy because he's paranoid and covered his tracks very well. There is nothing that will ever get him arrested or on the government's radar, and he won't let himself near anyone who threatens that. If he wanted a canister, he would have just gotten it by proxy."
Tony paused, and she looked at him with an expression that just said I'm waiting.
"I needed to make an impression on him so he could trust me. The only solution was to… to use the canister."
There was a beat, but it wasn't because they didn't understand. On the contrary, the flickering of eye colours informed Tony that they understood exactly what he meant by that and were simply battling for control so one of them could berate him for it. He half-expected Michelle to slap him again or Larry to beat the shit out of him because, really, they had every right to, but they stayed where they were.
"I cannot believe you," Michelle gritted through her teeth, and it hurt Tony to see she was on the verge of tears again. "Did you at any point consider that you were dragging me — and our son — down with you? Killing innocent people is not honouring me, Tony. It's the antithesis of what I want and what I stand for. I just wanted you to find a way to be happy and live your life without me. That didn't mean you had to work for the government, but, Christ, I didn't think I'd have to tell you not to become a terrorist!"
His cheek twitched. "You don't understand how hard it was."
It was a lame excuse, and he knew it. The scoff meant she knew it, too. "I would have rather you sat there and drowned yourself in beer to cope, and you know how much it hurt me to see you do that to yourself." She shook her head. "Why, Tony?" she asked pleadingly. "I know David used his pull on you, but there had to be a point where you knew you were crossing a line and chose to do it anyway."
He wished he had an answer for her, but every motivation and justification he had kept firmly in his mind no longer held water. The foundation of bitterness he had used to remake himself was crumbling, revealing the abyss of grief that had formed the moment he had seen the Deceased label in her profile at CTU. Tears blurred his vision as he silently stared into space, not able to meet her eye, not wanting to defend himself, just let her punish him because he knew he deserved it. If he really had wanted to do this for justice, he would have brought up Wilson with Bill and Chloe, but he hadn't. He hadn't even brought it up with David. This had been his decision, and his alone.
Michelle started pacing, running a hand through her hair, stopping intermittently to wipe her tears. Was she talking to Larry or just beside herself with anguish? She mentioned that Larry had been there for her, and he could only hope that someone so apparently akin to her could help her at such an awful time. Despite his tendency for jealousy, recognising the familiar feeling within that he should be protecting her because he loved her and he was a failure of a husband for not doing so, he had to admit he was glad she hadn't been alone. He was also glad that her sole companion had helped her heal authentically, rather than manipulated her into going down the wrong path for his own gain.
"Do you want to redeem yourself?" she asked. "Not do you want to redeem yourself in my eyes, but do you want to redeem yourself? Do you still care about that?"
He had never really thought about it. He knew that his plan would have originally put him in prison for the rest of his life, the electric chair, or maybe, if he was really lucky, lying on a hammock in the Maldives, his name at the top of the FBI's Most Wanted list. Everything had always been centred around getting to Wilson; he had never really considered after. He had been so careful to keep this plan secret that he had never believed he would be stopped, let alone reproached like this. He didn't really know what he wanted anymore. Some small, idealistic part of him wanted Michelle's forgiveness, but he didn't think he was going to get that, certainly not now. The only person who hated him more than her was himself. He might have convinced himself that he was doing the right thing, in his own twisted way, but he had never liked becoming this person. At the same time, he had never seen redemption as a possibility. He had just never thought he was worth it. But judging by the look in her eyes, maybe she did. Even though she had clearly stated she didn't want his redemption to be to please her, to know that she must still believe in him, mattered. Facing the music terrified him, but it was only because he knew it would ultimately be the right thing, and would, most likely, make him feel whole again. Yes, he wanted to redeem himself in her eyes, but he recognised that he wanted this for himself, too. He was tired of being this person. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life wallowing and being miserable and acting like nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't deny that her presence was a big part of his change in motivation, but he knew that changing for the better would be worthwhile regardless, even if it was painful.
In response to the silence, Michelle then clarified, "Part of why I'm asking is that Larry might be able to get the Attorney General to cut you a deal. But he'll only do it if I believe you mean it. You have to commit to this because you want to. I don't want to have to keep taking control of his body to remind you to be a good person. I accepted that my life was over when I died. I was happy being a subconscious presence and living on through Larry. I don't- You know that nothing is going to go back to normal for us, even if we can speak to each other again. Of course, I love you, and I'm happy to be able to watch over you, but I'm not going to let you burden Larry with this."
That was a fair point he hadn't fully considered. Yes, he could technically talk to her at any time, but Larry was still his own person, and using him as a vessel to talk to Michelle wasn't right. She didn't want it, either, and it spoke wonders of her strength and character that she could be so content with this kind of situation when many people would insist on having more of an equal split of control. Her sole goal was to be part of Larry's conscience and help him. She didn't want anything else. It wouldn't be right for Tony to force her to one, do something she didn't want, and two, risk exposing herself and other soulmates out there.
"If you only want to turn yourself in because of me, then we'll let you walk out of here, and we don't want to see or hear from you ever again. You'd be a fugitive, and you'd be on your own."
She sounded like she meant it. He appreciated that even with this option, she was still being kind to him by letting him escape the consequences. He believed that was out of whatever love for him remained, not Larry's approval. Really, he had Larry to thank for a lot of this. No matter how impactful the sound of her voice was, he could not ignore that Larry was part of this, too. That was the whole idea. They were one entity, but they were both giving him this choice.
Did he really want to run away? It was the coward's way out, and a lot easier compared to whatever this deal entailed, presuming it was a work release, time served, or a both. Knowing that Michelle would be subconsciously supporting him if he turned himself in was certainly encouraging, but he had to think about this for himself. She might never speak to him again, allowing Larry to have full autonomy. Would he still be happy with the deal if that were the case? If he couldn't hear her eventually say that she was proud of him or that she loved him? Would it be enough for him to know deep down in his soul that he had done the right thing? Would that satisfy him? He was so used to feeling nothing but numb with the occasional flare of vitriol that he could barely remember what genuine fulfilment was. One aspect he also couldn't ignore was that he would probably have to hand over his evidence about Wilson's crimes to the FBI. They probably wouldn't be able to do much with it, but it would at least point them in the right direction. And wasn't that what he had tried to convince himself? That he wanted to get to Wilson because he wanted justice? Sure, he still believed there were flaws in the FBI's excessive red tape, but if he could try to improve that, if only as an advisor… wouldn't that make him feel better? Wouldn't that remind him of who he used to be? The young Marine who had naively signed up to serve his country because he had cared about doing the right thing?
There was still so much uncertainty here. The only guarantee was that it would be difficult. But this was the right thing to do, and the only way he might ever forgive himself for every line he had crossed since joining David's crew.
"I… I'll turn myself in," he decided. "I'll hand in my evidence and let the FBI do whatever it can to try to get to Wilson. I'll take whatever the Attorney General offers me. I… I want this for myself. I really do."
When he looked up, her shoulders had relaxed. He was slightly hurt by how surprised she seemed. "You… you mean it?"
He nodded. "Yeah," he said softly.
There was a glimmer of pride in her expression, though she looked like she was trying not to get too excited. But it really was true, and he was grateful she trusted him enough to see that. Something between them lightened, like their spiritual connection was just a little stronger than before.
But when Tony went to say something, the sound of cars pulling up outside interrupted him. He doubted it was just guests pulling up to the motel. The FBI had found them.
Larry cursed under his breath, his eyes blue as he looked at Tony. "Just follow my lead, and we'll get through this."
The FBI had indeed tracked them down to the motel, confused about why Larry had locked himself in a motel room with Tony and the last canister of the bioweapon without telling anybody.
Although Michelle and Larry were usually so in sync that her conscience was more like an echo of his, sometimes in moments of panic, their differences worked to their advantage. Here, where she would have likely fumbled since she wasn't the best liar, Larry smoothly convinced Jack and Renee that he and Tony had been hiding in fear of reprisals from Galvez or his associates. He then explained that Tony had needed that privacy to provide valuable, sensitive intel about the conspiracy. Jack was beyond frustrated when he learned that Tony had hidden even more information from him. He had known Tony longer than Michelle had, so she could certainly understand how betrayed he had felt today. Michelle could also see that he was deteriorating more and more with every moment, and it was hard not to upset Larry too much to do his job. Maybe later, she could try to catch a moment with Jack and reveal herself, but with everything going on, a quiet moment didn't seem likely to arise. Renee was slightly sceptical, but she trusted Larry, and she was second in command, so hopefully nobody would follow up too much. Understandably, since two moles in the Bureau had already been exposed, people were a little on edge.
They made it back to the FBI, where Tony laid out a plan to arrest Alan Wilson based on his connection with Cara Bowden, his intermediary. Michelle could tell it meant something to him to be able to stand up in front of a room full of Feds and be listened to — even if they were somewhat wary, given what he had done today. She remembered the way people at CTU had treated him — herself included, unfortunately — the day they had gotten back together. It hurt so much to think that had he had a more positive, guiding influence, things could have turned out so differently for him. At the same time, the fact that he was capable of such actions, regardless, was something she could not look past or vindicate.
To reduce the risk of anything going wrong and Tony being double-crossed, Jack proposed to go with Tony and offer himself to Wilson and his associates because the pathogen was contained in his organs as opposed to Tony providing the canister, which could so easily be stolen and armed. It made sense, but made Michelle feel even worse, seeing Jack so willing to sacrifice himself again. Larry offered her some comforting words mentally. Although the nature of their relationship could be described as unconventional at best, they tried not to obsess and over-analyse labels and implications too much, and just be there for each other in their own way. Michelle particularly encouraged him not to worry too much about the semantics of her being in his body because he had feelings for Renee. They had had a one-night stand during his separation a few years ago, but his ex-wife had found out and that had put an end to things between them. Larry had also not felt right crossing that line because of their relative positions in the Bureau hierarchy, something Michelle more than understood. She and Tony had been so diligent about separating their personal and professional relationships until they had gotten married and ended up on more of a level playing field. But now, Renee was virtually at the same level of authority as Larry, and he was divorced, so he really had no excuse not to try again with her. Unfortunately, Renee's undercover mission with a Russian gang had also interfered with things. She had been away for so long and he had not wanted to overstep any boundaries while she had been so vulnerable afterwards. Larry had asked Michelle for a lot of advice at that time, and she had been glad to help. But now, Michelle really did hope that after today was over, they could try to make things work again. Both of them had nearly died today. For Feds, that was usually sufficient motivation to ask someone out — it had worked for her and Tony, after all.
Tony went to meet up with Cara, but Michelle noticed he seemed a little nervous, so she pulled him aside in Larry's office, not wanting to risk anybody hearing.
"Is something going on?" she asked, and she was very aware of how much he reacted to hearing her instead of Larry. "You said this was part of your original plan anyway. Why do you look nervous?"
"Because the FBI is going to be watching, and even though she trusts me, I don't know if she's still going to check for bugs."
She squinted. "She's meeting you at the motel. You can just tell her you checked already. Won't that be enough?"
He gave a vague shrug. He was holding off on something, but what?
"Michelle, are you really sure you trust him?" Larry asked her privately. "I know it looks like he's confessed everything, but after what we've seen-"
"I know I'm biased, but I trust him. I believe he came clean with the important information. He looks… ashamed, not guilty."
Her voice softened as she said, "Tony, once you go out there, we don't know what might happen. What aren't you telling us?"
Tony let out a breath. "I got close to Cara by getting involved with her, alright? Usually, when we meet in a motel room…"
He couldn't even finish the sentence. The fact that he had more trouble explaining this than he had explaining his plans to avenge her was almost ridiculous. She recognised it was probably out of respect for her, but it didn't stop her from rolling her eyes. "So, you might end up having sex with her to make sure she doesn't get suspicious," she concluded. "Really? That's what you were afraid to tell me?"
Obviously, even after what had happened, they still had a lot to talk about, but it wasn't the time or the place. They had bigger things to focus on. She wanted to touch his shoulder or make him look at her, but figured it would probably be a little weird for him, so she just shoved her hands in her pockets, trying to avoid the temptation.
"Look, you have to get going. We can talk later. Just be careful, alright?"
He nodded. "I will."
The rest of the plan thankfully went well, although Wilson's men put up a decent firefight with the FBI. They managed to arrest him before his team of doctors could cut into Jack — who subsequently collapsed after overexerting himself while trying to back up the field agents. But the arrest didn't feel like an achievement when it was apparent Wilson would lawyer up and, even then, the FBI really wasn't holding him on anything significant. She knew Tony was ultimately disappointed, but she had faith that justice would eventually be served just by providing his information. They could find probable cause to investigate Wilson and his assets. The analysts could find a paper trail somewhere. Even if he was as paranoid as Tony claimed, he was still human, and humans made mistakes.
Their focus then turned to the other person in FBI custody: Tony. Larry was debriefing the president on what had happened. She, too, shared frustration that Wilson was not going to be detained for very long, and it was clear there was something very wrong with the system if the she, as president, couldn't do much about it. But Michelle could only hope she would recognise that without Tony, the government wouldn't even know about Wilson or the true breadth of the conspiracies he was involved in. She didn't want Tony to go to prison. She believed and recognised that anyone in his position deserved to. But she knew how much he had suffered the first time, and more importantly, it wouldn't help him on his journey for redemption. If he worked with the FBI to expose Wilson's actions, then maybe that would restore some of his faith. She knew she was speaking at least partially from the perspective of being his wife, not as a federal agent. Larry knew it, too, and had made it clear in that motel room that if it weren't for her presence, and his own care for her, he would not be going this far for Tony. He wouldn't have let him rot, but he wouldn't be vouching for him like she was asking him to now.
"Is there anything else, Agent Moss?" Taylor asked.
"Yes, Madam President, there is. Regarding Tony Almeida…"
"He's in FBI custody, correct?"
"He is." Larry took a breath. "Madam President, I want to stress that without Tony, we would not have the information about this conspiracy that we do now. While I don't condone his actions, and I agree he needs to be reprimanded, as the FBI works on obtaining conclusive evidence against Wilson and his associates, he would be a valuable asset. He's a former federal agent-"
To Michelle's dismay, he was cut off by Ethan Kanin pointing out, "Agent Moss, there is no reason he can't assist in the investigation from prison or be brought in on occasion. He used his information about the government to his advantage as a criminal-"
"I know, sir, but-"
"Arguably, the Attorney General can still push for aiding and abetting a genocide, which is punishable by the death penalty. He might have been a double agent, but he did so outside of the law."
"Because he had no choice!" Michelle protested. If only Bill was alive. Chloe had given her statement to the FBI, which helped, but to have Bill's support here would have made a world of difference.
It was a good thing this was a phonecall and not a video conference otherwise Taylor and Kanin would be able to see her immense frustration conveyed through Larry's body. Michelle also noticed their eyes were flickering between colours in the reflection of Larry's monitor. In the corner of their vision, Tony, too, seemed concerned. He was the only other person in the office. Larry had had to be quite insistent that Renee didn't debrief Taylor with him, even though she would have under any other circumstances, just in case Michelle helped Larry a little too much. She couldn't take control if Larry didn't let her. It was a two-way street; both of them had to agree to letting one of them take control. However, when they were both emotional and focused on the same task, sometimes the line between their souls blurred and alternation could occur like it did at the motel.
"I'd like to remind you, Madam President, that Tony is, to some degree, a result of the failures of this government. Charles Logan was involved in a conspiracy that killed hundreds of people, and he was quietly impeached with little to no consequences. Agents gave their lives to try to protect this country, while he and most of his other conspirators got away with everything. I do not blame him, Bill Buchanan, or Chloe O'Brian for feeling a need to work outside the law." Larry sighed. "I won't deny that Tony has made decisions that are not justifiable. I won't deny that he needs to be punished, just like anybody else. But what I will say is that I believe in reformation. He ultimately chose to help the FBI and turn things around today."
Although Larry was the one speaking, Michelle had also been mentally adding her own statements, wanting to ensure Larry didn't forget anything because this was not an easy case to argue. Unsurprisingly, as she continued to do so, she became very emotional. A tear rolled down her cheek that Larry quickly wiped away. She really didn't want Tony to go to prison. She didn't want him shamed and berated in court like he had been the first time. The only way he was going to be a better person again was if he was one, given the opportunity, and two, supported by the people around him. He really didn't have many people left. Emerson — and most probably, Nina, although they would never know for sure — hadn't been the best influence on him, but had been there for him in the depths of his grief. Bill had surely offered him an olive branch, too, if he had ultimately trusted Tony to work with him. Jack was on his deathbed. Tony's family probably had no idea that he was alive, and until they could guarantee that Wilson's associates wouldn't hunt him down — and they would most certainly try — contacting them was a risk. Yes, Michelle had made it clear that she was not exactly going to be in his life in the same way as before, but she and Larry together… they could make a difference. A belief she held true in her heart was that it was never too late to make the right choice, and that nothing was set in stone. Larry did, too, which was really why he was agreeing to give Tony a chance.
"Madam President, I want to ask that Tony be placed under house arrest and supervised to enable him to consult for the FBI."
"House arrest?" Kanin said with disbelief. "Agent Moss, I could reason with a long-term prison sentence, but this is not an apt punishment for a man who willingly allowed harm to come to innocent Americans."
Larry squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears. Michelle wondered if she had been naive to assume this would work. Of course it had been. She had let her own bias cloud her judgement. If she were in Kanin's position, she would be doubtful, too. And now, Larry's career and reputation might suffer for it.
"I know this is an unusual request, but you have to understand I wouldn't be asking for this if I didn't believe it was ultimately for the greater good," Larry insisted, before she could tell him to give up. "Just give him a chance. If this goes south and Tony manages to escape or re-offend, I will take full responsibility. Believe me, at the start of today, I would have agreed with you completely, but as someone who has worked first-hand with him… I- He's a good man. I don't lump him in with the other criminals arrested today. He does not derive joy from watching innocent people suffer. He did not do any of this for money or power. Yes, he wanted revenge for his wife, and hurting innocent people was not the way to go about that, but he wouldn't have felt a need to take matters into his own hands if the system hadn't failed him in the first place. He served his country. He did everything right. He was wrongly imprisoned for making a very human decision, and there are reports from that time that prove his mental well-being was negatively affected. If you imprison him again, this will only further his resentment and hinder the investigation."
By the end of that little speech, it had gotten harder and harder to stay calm. She was desperately trying to level her voice and stifle her cries, so the president didn't suspect Larry was pleading his case from a subjective point of view. Tony was looking at her with a very soft, sympathetic expression.
"Agent Moss, is something wrong with your phone? The pitch of your voice seems to be changing."
"Shit. Sorry," Michelle said. Obviously, she had gotten carried away with her thoughts, and Larry had let her voice them without realising.
"It's okay," Larry assured kindly before clearing his throat as Michelle tried to keep herself away from the boundary that allowed her to take control. "There's probably, uh, interference from somewhere," Larry excused, hardening his voice. "My point still stands, Madam President. The FBI needs all the help it can get on this investigation, and I believe letting Tony work as a consultant is beneficial not only for us, but for him as well."
There was a pause as the president hummed in thought. The fact that she hadn't immediately shut this down was a good sign. She had to be at least considering it. While Michelle anxiously waited for a response, Larry grabbed tissues to wipe his eyes again. Tony seemed very nervous, too, and she wanted nothing more than to hold his hand or at least be near him. Really, she had wanted to do that at so many points today, but Larry had ultimately stopped her, and she hadn't put up much of a fight. Throughout the day, despite wanting to scream at him and ask him why he was doing this, she had recognised that exposing their soulmate bond would cause a lot of problems if done at an inopportune time, and that she had not been in any rational position to take charge of Larry's body. She hadn't wanted to go back on her promise to avoid interfering with Larry's life. But now that the cat was out of the bag — to Tony, at least — Larry was obviously okay with letting her take control in situations where she was a strength, not a weakness. Sometimes, she wished that they could have worked together while she was still alive in her own body.
"Alright…" Taylor said, but her tone carried a warning. "If it weren't for your reputation and the work you've done today, Agent Moss, there is no way in hell that I would agree to this, but if you say you trust Tony Almeida, then I'm willing to permit he be placed under house arrest and assigned to work for the FBI, at Level 1 clearance. However, let me make it perfectly clear that if he does not prove to be a useful consultant or if he betrays your trust, I will hold you fully accountable."
They sighed with relief.
"I appreciate this very much, Madam President, and I'm sure Tony will, too."
"The Attorney General will be in touch later to negotiate the terms. I'll have to leave it there for now."
Larry thanked the president again before hanging up.
"Thank you… thank you so much, Larry."
"You're welcome. But I swear to God, you better be right about him."
Tony was at a loss for words, but the respite in his expression was palpable. Michelle recognised that the thought of being imprisoned again really had scared him, no matter how tough he had tried to act. He looked earnestly grateful and met her eyes in a way that communicated his promise to fulfil the expectations laid out before him. He knew that this was not a decision the president or Larry had made lightly and seemed determined to show his thanks for that. But Michelle couldn't deny she was happy, too. She was still mad at him, and she would be for a long time — maybe forever, in some regards. But now that the chaos was mostly over, she could be a little more present and value that they were together — even if it was under slightly strange conditions.
"You want to hug him, don't you?" Larry asked her.
She forgot sometimes that their thoughts shared the same space.
"… Would you be okay with it?"
"You've been there a lot for me, including everything that's happened between me and Renee. You deserve it," he said sincerely, before quickly following up with, "I'm not kissing him, though. At least… not without a few beers first."
Michelle chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't go that far."
Larry let her take control as she got up and slowly walked towards Tony. Michelle noticed how much stronger their bond felt up close. God, she had missed him so much.
"Michelle, what are you?–" He made a noise of surprise as she took him in her arms.
"Just shut up and let me hug you," Michelle said quietly, her voice breaking.
It obviously didn't feel the same, for him or for her. Tony wasn't pulling away, but it was clear he was a little confused by reaching up, not down, since Larry was taller than him. His body was harder and more angular than her curves used to be. He couldn't run a hand through her hair or smell the perfume she used to wear, but Larry's cologne was nice and he had at least shaven today, so there wouldn't be any stubble scraping against him. It was more than a little weird, but clearly it was enough. Tony had his eyes closed; perhaps he was trying to focus on their spiritual bond rather than the physical sensation.
Time seemed still as she held him, and Larry took as much of a subconscious presence as he could, so they didn't quite notice the sound of someone knocking on the door until it opened, and…
"Larry?"
Michelle looked up to see Renee standing at the door with an expression of disbelief.
"What… what's going on?" Renee asked.
She quickly let Larry take control, but the change in eye colour only made Renee's eyes widen. She looked like she was about to bolt. Even if it wasn't likely anybody would believe her, they couldn't afford to risk this blowing up.
Before today, Michelle and Larry had had many discussions about whether he should tell Renee about this. He didn't like keeping things from Renee, professionally or personally. But Michelle didn't want to disrupt his life more than she already had. If it weren't for everything with Tony today, she never would have had any desire to take control of Larry's body. She had reminded Larry of the risks of exposing themselves as soulmates and potentially others. He had countered that with trusting Renee deeply and pointing out that she wasn't exactly immune to danger as an FBI agent. But, well, even when Larry had decided he would tell Renee, there had just never been a good time to do so — and now was hardly better.
"Renee, wait… I can explain," Larry urged. "Just shut the door and come inside."
Tony had quickly moved away from him, frantically wiping his tears as his cheeks reddened.
"Oh, please, don't let me interrupt you."
"I… I told you to let me talk to the president," Larry said, his attempt to displace the blame failing miserably. "Why didn't you knock?"
Renee cocked a brow, but came closer. "Well, Janis needs Tony to help with the encryption on one of the files he uploaded, and I couldn't hear you talking on the phone. I did knock, but you didn't respond, and given who," she glared at Tony, "you were alone with, I got a little worried."
"I-It's not what it looks like."
"That the FBI hugs terrorists now?" She then looked at Tony. "No offence."
Larry pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, gesturing for her to sit while he moved to lean against his desk.
"I'll, uh," Tony cleared his throat awkwardly, "I'll give you guys a minute. Where's Janis' station?"
"Take a right at the end of the hall," Renee instructed.
Tony thanked her, then looked up with an expression that just said Good luck, and left the two of them in silence, shutting the door behind him.
"I'm really sorry, Larry. This is all my fault-"
"It's okay, Michelle," Larry insisted, somehow maintaining his kindness when he had every right to be mad at her, "This… this was always going to come out. We were waiting for the right time, and now we have no choice. You never asked to be put in this position, and you were trying to protect me."
"Renee, there's someone else inside my body."
She squinted at him. "What?"
"I… I'm not insane. I'm not seeing things. I mean there is literally someone else inside my body." He huffed. His tendency to be honest and straightforward really wasn't helping here. But if he was more metaphorical, it would make him seem delusional. "You remember when I got shot?"
He had been shot a few times, but judging by the way Renee's expression faltered, she knew which incident he was referring to.
"The doctors said I should have died, that they couldn't understand how I lost so much blood but managed to hold on and not sustain long-term damage. They called it a miracle, and they were right to believe that because I didn't come back on my own. The soul of someone else helped revive me, someone who died at the same time and is so spiritually similar to me that she ended up living on in my body. That someone else was Tony's wife."
Renee stared at him like she was still debating going to the medical ward and asking for a psychiatrist.
"I don't think she believes me, Michelle. You might have to help me out here."
Michelle sensed the pull of him permitting her to take control that had become very familiar today. As she did so, Renee jerked back.
"Sorry," Michelle said with a small smile. "But Larry isn't lying to you. I figured you wouldn't quite believe unless you saw it — well, heard it, too."
"So this happened because you died the same time he di- got shot?"
Michelle nodded. "Yes. There are theoretically thousands of people out there with kindred souls, or soulmates, but this phenomenon is only possible if two of them die at the same time."
"Have you been able to speak through him the whole time?"
"I have," she confirmed somewhat guiltily, "but other than a couple of tests at the very beginning, I haven't done so until today, and even then, I only did so when I realised I was the only one who could stop Tony from going too far."
"When you both went dark… you were revealing yourself to him."
Michelle tipped her head. "Yeah. We had a," she chuckled mirthlessly, "a lot of catching up to do."
Although Renee was still a little stunned, sympathy crept into her expression. "I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you, to see what had become of him."
"Yeah, it was, uh… not quite the reunion I expected with him. But as you probably figured out, we found an understanding. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone any of what he did, but…" She shrugged helplessly. "I couldn't lose him. I couldn't watch him go on like that."
Renee hummed in understanding. "Which is why Larry didn't want me to hear him negotiate with the president." She looked dismayed. "You wanted to get him a pardon. I get it. It's- He's your husband-"
"Renee, I didn't want Tony to get a pardon," Michelle corrected desperately, not wanting Renee to think she had forced Larry's hand. "I just didn't want them to execute him or thrown him in prison for the rest of his life. I want him to get his redemption by helping the FBI and handing in all the information he's collected over the years. I want him to be the Tony that I knew and loved. And maybe that part of him is gone, but he's still a good person. I know I'm biased because I'm his wife, but I can also sense Tony's soul because I love him. I didn't put Larry's reputation at risk, and Tony knows what's on the line. Trust me, if he tries to do anything, I'll let him have it."
Michelle could tell that meant a lot to Renee, not just that she wanted to hold Tony accountable, but also that she was considerate of Larry's stake in all this.
"Can I, uh, talk to Larry again?" Renee asked. "Is it easy for you to switch over? Oh, but you'll hear it, anyway. I- God, this is making my head spin."
"You can talk to him. It's okay," Michelle assured, allowing him to take control again.
Unfortunately, Renee still seemed startled by the change in eye colour. "Jesus, you have to give me a heads up when you do that."
"Sorry."
She was at an absolute loss, and understandably so. When Michelle and Larry had first tried to learn about this, it had been mostly facilitated by neither of them being able to deny what was going on. They had accepted pretty quickly that they were truly in each other's minds. But for an outsider, other than the change in eye colour — she wondered how much harder this would have been if they had the same or even similar eye colours — it was a pretty crazy theory to propose. Other than perhaps retinal scanning, there really wasn't a way to prove this. Everything they had found was anecdotal. From what they knew, there were very few scientists who studied this, and they lived a private life for good reason. There was no debating whether it was real, but as history had shown time and time again, hugely unprecedented discoveries tended to make people act rashly.
"Why… why didn't you tell me any of this?" Renee asked dejectedly. "I never would have wanted you — either of you — to get hurt. You should have trusted me."
"Michelle didn't want to make anything weird between us. She felt bad. She thought it would be easier to stay in the back of my mind and not take control," Larry explained. "And would you have really believed me if I told you I was hearing a dead woman's voice in my head?"
"I just–" She shook her head. "This is huge, and we've known each other for so long, I thought… I thought we could talk to each other about anything."
"We can trust each other, Renee," Larry said. "I never thought you would do anything wrong. It's just that I- We never thought Michelle would have to speak through me."
"Still…" Renee trailed off.
Larry was panicking more than he let on, which made Michelle feel terrible. Renee was obviously hurt from being kept in the dark, and Michelle wished she had let Larry tell her sooner. By trying to avoid it and not interfere, she had ultimately made it worse. At the time, she hadn't ever thought there would be a reason she would need to take control. Maybe she just had to accept that she still had a place in the world, even though it was through someone else. Despite her insistence that it would be easier, Larry had never demanded she stay in the back of his mind. She couldn't ignore the display of power they had achieved today to overpower Tony. They could learn to harness that. Who knew where it might be useful?
"Sorry, Michelle, I feel like I keep throwing you under the bus."
"It's okay. It is mostly my fault. Maybe… maybe you should let me talk to her." It felt like the logical thing to do, since not talking had gotten them into this position in the first place.
"Michelle wants to talk to you," he told Renee. "She wants to apologise."
Renee shrugged like she didn't even have a choice. "Alright."
This time, Renee looked away when the transition happened, and refused to turn her head back.
"I really am sorry, Renee. Don't blame Larry. I… I've struggled a lot with my identity and my place in the world since this happened. I didn't really want to take this as a second chance at life. I felt awful that I was going to burden Larry with my presence, so I thought it would be best that I minimise my existence. I wanted to be a… an angel on his shoulder or something like that. I was okay with the fact that he and I could just be there for each other in our thoughts. I never thought I would want to, or need to, take the lead, but it's no excuse. He wanted to tell you. I just didn't want to ruin things between you, and I was worried that knowing about soulmates might put you at risk," Michelle explained.
She sighed, hating that she felt she may have ruined things between them forever. "It's probably the one thing we've only ever disagreed on. Other than that… he's a good man, and he cares about you a lot. I know it probably seems… intimate that he and I hear each other's thoughts, but we really are just companions. I'm his sounding board for all the things he's afraid to tell you, and today, he's been mine. Honestly, it's… it's really sweet how often he thinks about you, and I recognise that what you two have is special."
Renee lifted her head, meeting her eyes. She seemed very affected by those words, so Michelle offered her a soft smile.
"He loves you, Renee."
"Michelle!" Larry protested.
"Well, you do, don't you?"
"Yes, but… but you should warn me when you do things like this."
She tried not to show her amusement. "Larry, even if I was still in my body and knew you and Renee like this, I'm convinced I would have had to tell Renee you love her on your behalf, regardless."
"I feel the way his heart lifts when you come into work. He might act all grumpy when he hasn't had his coffee yet, but on the inside, he's so much brighter when you're around. He admires you for your courage and your dedication to everything you do. He trusts you wholeheartedly. Nothing shattered him more than when he saw you after you came back from being undercover. He promised himself that if he ever came face to face with that man, he'd kill him..."
Their positions from when he had spoken to the president were reversed: now his thoughts were dictating her speech. As they went on, he became I and she could barely sense the difference between them. But it didn't really matter who was speaking because the look of appreciation on Renee's face meant there was no doubt the message was well-received. Larry and Renee stared into each other's eyes for a very long time, but both were afraid to speak.
"Can I?-"
"Yes, you can kiss her." Michelle laughed through her nose. "I didn't say all that just so you could hold hands."
In one quick motion, he moved from his desk towards her, just as Renee stood so their lips could meet. Michelle practically felt the sparks fly. Really, she had wanted them to get together for a long time, so she was glad to have been able to assist. It was plain to see how much they cared for each other.
"I love you, too," Renee whispered, cupping his face. "I-I know what you've just told me is crazy, but it doesn't change that. Not at all."
He sighed with relief. "I shouldn't have taken this long to tell you about either of these things. After… after everything that's happened today, I've realised that it's not worth the wait. Not in our line of work."
She pressed his forehead against his, sniffling a little. Then her head shot up, like something had occurred to her.
"Whoa, whoa, hang on. I just-" Renee's skin flushed, her voice racing as she spoke. "I just realised something."
"What?" Larry asked.
"Michelle… Michelle was in your head when we hooked up," she blurted. "You– She saw everything."
He shook his head. "She stayed in the back of my mind as far back as she could. She wasn't watching. Well, she was, but not intentionally. Don't worry. It… it was fine. She had no part in it." Larry continued fumbling through his words, doing nothing to assuage Renee, who was still a little stunned.
"No part in it? Really, Larry?" If they were going to be transparent, she could at least get credit where it was due.
Larry's gaze dropped. "Okay, Michelle helped a little. N-Not… not by doing anything. She didn't take control. She just… gave me some advice and when I followed it, you… you seemed to appreciate it."
"I really didn't want to interfere at all," Michelle emphasised. "I felt terrible. I stayed quiet and tried to dissociate as much as I could. It's just, well, he wasn't doing a bad job, but from one woman to another, I figured how often does a man get that kind of advice on the spot?"
Renee laughed, clasping a hand over her mouth.
"Look, Renee, we, uh, we still have a lot to talk about…" Larry said after a beat, still a little embarrassed, but in a very endearing way. "Maybe we can continue this over dinner? Or…" he looked at his watch, "breakfast?"
She nodded. "I'd like that."
Their moment was interrupted by the phone on his desk ringing. Larry cursed under his breath. Having nice moments ruined by a phonecall was unfortunately something that CTU and the FBI had in common.
"Saved by the bell," Renee quipped, stepping back from the hug.
Larry scoffed, turning to pick up the phone. It was Janis saying that she had some results for him and Renee to see. He told her they would be there right away. They should probably get back to the bullpen anyway, otherwise Larry was going to develop a reputation for having suspiciously long one-on-one meetings.
"Okay, that went… a lot better than I expected," Larry said with relief. "Thanks for the help."
"You're welcome," Michelle assured, "although you quite literally couldn't have done that without me."
He chuckled, and they went to Janis' station. Tony looked between them, gauging that the conversation had gone smoothly, or better than smoothly, since Michelle was sure he could see that Larry was trying not to grin from ear to ear. It was hard for Michelle not to be just as happy for them, although the mood darkened when Doctor Macer came out to update them that Jack was on a morphine drip.
Despite Larry trying to hide how upset she was, both Tony and Renee clearly picked up on it, and they found a quiet spot in the hall.
"Why don't the two of you go to the medical ward? I'll take care of everything out here," Renee offered. "I think it would mean a lot to Jack if he knew the truth. Nobody would suspect anything; they'll just think Larry's escorting Tony."
They agreed it was a good idea, and made their way down, asking the doctors and nurses to give them privacy. Michelle almost made Larry burst into tears when she entered, painfully reminded that the last time she had seen Jack, all those years ago in her own body, she had been saying goodbye, too. Once they were alone, Tony held her hand.
She was glad they had gone right away because Jack was still lucid enough to be confused by Larry's presence.
Tony went and sat on the edge of the bed, greeting Jack quietly. "How are you doing?" he then asked.
Jack laughed through his nose, hoarsely uttering, "I'm alright."
She could tell that both of them had so much to say to each other, still. They had argued all day, but really, nobody had given them a proper chance to talk. The interrogation had hardly counted since Tony had just tried to rile Jack up to aid his escape. But now there wasn't time, not enough at least to go into the last six years, and the look of guilt on Tony's face told Michelle that he wouldn't waste these last moments with him.
"Look, I… I'm sorry for everything that's happened. Really, I am," Tony confessed. "We might not be the people we used to be but I still care about you, and I- I'm sorry."
Jack nodded slightly. "Thank you. I… I'm sorry, too." He took a breath. "You went through the kind of pain I did and I should have been there for you."
He shook his head. "It wasn't your fault."
That seemed to mean a lot to Jack. Lord only knew how much guilt he had carried with him. Michelle could only pray that her and Tony's conversations with Jack would give him some peace.
"Jack, there's, uh, there's someone else who wants to talk to you," Tony said.
Jack craned his neck to look over Tony's shoulder. "Larry?" he mumbled.
Larry shook his head, taking a few steps forward and sitting next to Tony. Despite Michelle taking control as slowly as she could, Jack's eyes widened, and he became more alert.
"It's, uh, it's not the morphine," she assured him with a slight smile. "It really is me." She then took his hand, the one without the IV, and squeezed it a little.
He let out a small gasp, really meeting her eyes now. When she realised Jack was getting teary, it made it harder for her to hold back her emotions. Larry was silent, not wanting to intrude, but she could feel a comforting warmth, almost like he was trying to place a hand on her shoulder from the inside out.
"It's okay, Michelle," Larry whispered.
"H… How?"
"It's a long story," Michelle answered, not wanting to waste these last moments with him explaining the logistics of this. "But Larry and I have shared a body since I died. Our souls are connected."
He seemed like he had a lot of questions, but was more focused on just being happy to see her, for which she was glad.
"I'm sorry for what happened to you," Jack rasped. "It's my fault."
She and Tony both protested, assuring him they didn't blame him at all.
"Jack, it's okay," Michelle said. "I… I'm still here, sort of, and Tony is, too. A lot might have happened, but we're okay. I don't regret helping you. I couldn't have lived with myself if I let them kill you."
Although Tony didn't follow up, Michelle could tell that he felt the same. He might have resentment about other things, but she couldn't feel a shred of hatred in his soul for Jack. If anything, she felt like she recognised Tony more now than she had all day.
They talked with Jack some more, just casually, like this day hadn't happened and they were catching up, something that seemed impossible, but they made it work. It relieved Michelle to learn that he and Kim had managed to reconcile, too, (she knew Kim had arrived at the FBI, but Larry hadn't spoken to her, personally) although it made her ache to think about how she was going to have to say goodbye so soon after saying hello.
But their conversation soon ended as Jack fell asleep, no longer able to fight the morphine. Unsurprisingly, both of them were devastated, and even though at the back of her mind she knew that anybody could walk in on them, it didn't stop her from crying into Tony's shoulder. The sound of her muffled sobbing must have overridden the strangeness of it, because Tony held her fiercely. She might have gotten emotional before, but now she really couldn't keep it in any longer. Larry did his best to support her internally, too, and when she could think coherently later, she would thank him not just for this but for trusting her with taking control today.
Michelle remembered breaking down like this after Jack's funeral. They had wondered whether it would be hard for them to look like they were grieving, given that they knew Jack was alive and well in hiding, but from Tony holding Kim to watching the coffin sink into the ground, it had made them realise they were still saying goodbye because it was almost certain they would never see Jack again, so shedding tears had come freely. Michelle realised they were going to have to do this again, go to a funeral for Jack, this time for real, and that it would be harder now because she wouldn't be able to hold Tony's hand or rest her head on his shoulder in public. It was wrong. It was so wrong that this was happening.
When they heard footsteps from the other room, Michelle was quick to let Larry take control again, frantically trying to dry his eyes. However, to her confusion, and slight hope, when Doctor Macer came in, along with a few nurses, there were mutters about taking Jack in for surgery.
"Surgery?" Tony asked.
Doctor Macer looked at him with slight scrutiny. She and Tony had known each other for a long time, so it was probably a bit of a shock for her to get used to seeing him again. "There's an experimental stem cell treatment that his daughter has consented to trying. It's his only hope."
Larry let out a breath. "That's good news. Please keep us updated," he requested, and Doctor Macer said she would.
They went to the bathroom just to make it look less obvious that Larry had been crying by splashing some cold water on his face. Neither of them spoke, their minds both distracted by thinking about Jack, now with cautious optimism, among everything else. They seemed to silently but mutually agree that starting another conversation would be a bad idea, given that Larry had been away from the bullpen long enough and Tony's deal still needed to be processed. However, something had lightened, just a little. The bulk of the day was behind them now. Wilson and a couple of his associates were in custody. Jack might, might, survive. The truth had been revealed to the important people in her and Larry's lives, although she wondered whether she might decide to tell Chloe or Kim one day. That would depend on how much they were in her and Larry's lives and whether he was okay with it, of course. There was still a lot to think about, and a lot to talk about, but they would have plenty of time to do that.
Larry went to open the door and go back to the hall, but Tony stopped them.
"Thank you, both of you, for everything," he said. "I… I know I have a lot of making up to do, but I appreciate that you're both trusting me when you have every reason not to."
They turned to look at him. "You're welcome." Larry was in control, but she heard her voice come out of his mouth, too. Perhaps it was an effect of both of them truly being in sync, right down to the cadence of their thoughts and speech. They would have to test that out later. But right now, Tony was here with her, and even though she couldn't quite be there for him in the same way, she knew he was on a better path than he had been before, and that was enough.