While the storm had made the windows rattle all night, this particular noise was loud enough to jolt him from sleep. Bill's hand immediately came to Karen's bicep, but she hadn't stirred. The noise sounded again, and, if he wasn't mistaken, it was a rather urgent knock at the door. He grabbed his gun and robe, quietly stalking down the stairs. There was so much rain that he could barely make out the dark figure standing outside his door. Even through the uncertainty, Bill had to admit he didn't feel like his fight-or-flight was being activated. After all, he was sure a burglar, or worse, would have broken in already.
When he opened the door to see a man who was supposed to be dead, a man he saw die in Jack Bauer's arms, he felt that anxiety return. He staggered back a little, staring wide-eyed at him. His hand went to his gun, somewhat convinced that this was a mirage.
"I need your help," he said, his voice shallow and desperate in a way that almost sounded unrecognisable. His clothes were soaked, and his head had been shaved. It also appeared he'd lost some weight; grief must have taken its toll on him. Despite the almost cold and confronting experience, when he met the man's eyes, he knew he was still Tony Almeida.
Bill nodded. "Come in."
Bill offered him a drink and a change of clothes, but Tony refused, which only further confirmed that what he was here for was important. Tony seemed content in dripping with water as he took a seat at the dining room table. Bill kept his voice quiet, wanting to remind Tony that he didn't live alone, which he was sure Tony knew. Bill also noticed Tony was looking at a photo from his and Karen's elopement. There was a hint of a smile on his face, but it was barely visible beneath the pain. Tony also seemed to be skittishly looking at the door, as though afraid he had been followed. It made Bill incredibly nervous. What the hell was he doing here, and who had he risked leading to his doorstep?
"I'm sorry about Michelle," Bill said solemnly. "I feel like I didn't get the chance to tell you properly that day."
Tony tipped his head in acknowledgement, and Bill was very aware of the despondence in his eyes.
"How?" Was the first thing Bill asked to break the tense silence between them.
"I was revived with a hypothermic compound almost ten minutes after I died," Tony explained simply, his voice collected and his face so unnaturally calm it reminded Bill of a debrief. "By a mercenary named David Emerson."
"Why?"
"He wanted to recruit me. He had been keeping an eye on me ever since I was arrested. He claimed he saw something in me, something that made him believe I could be a good addition to his crew."
Bill noticed that Tony didn't appear to have a lot of resentment or disgust towards the man. He wasn't praising him either; his expression appeared to be one of ambivalence. Still, Bill wouldn't make assumptions since he didn't think Tony was here just for a chat.
"Have you been working for a mercenary, Tony?"
"Yes," Tony admitted, but continued to speak before Bill could respond. "But what I'm here for is so much bigger than that."
"Go on," Bill said, willing to hear him out even if deep down he did have some judgement towards Tony.
He sighed. "It's complicated."
Bill huffed. "You came to me. Tell me why."
"There's corruption in the highest level of the government to fund a genocide in Sangala."
He blinked a few times. "W… What?"
"Everything you've been hearing about on the news? Our government is complicit."
It sounded insane, but after everything he had seen with the Sentox, he was no longer in a position to blindly and valiantly insist that that couldn't be true. More than that, why the hell would Tony come all this way, putting himself at risk, no less, to tell him that if it wasn't true?
"We have to tell someone," Bill said instinctively, without thinking of someone specifically, but aware that this seemed too big to deal with between the two of them.
"We don't know who we can trust, Bill," Tony said bitterly. "It's a lot of people, and they could be everywhere."
"Karen has some contacts, surely she can vouch for–" Bill suggested, but was promptly cut off, with "If you want to keep Karen safe, you'll leave her out of this."
Bill looked towards the stairs and then back at Tony, conflicted. "Like you did with Michelle after you got out of prison?"
Tony visibly flinched at the mention of her name, his cheek twitching. Bill half-expected Tony to lose it right there, but he kept his cool and proceeded with his explanation.
"This is bigger than you could even imagine, Bill. If you want to protect your wife, you'll do what I say."
The thought was ludicrous. He wasn't going to hide things from his wife. Moreover, he certainly wasn't about to go back to government work without talking to her about it. She needed to know. The two of them could help Tony together. Why the hell was he insisting so much? It wasn't like Karen hadn't been involved with this before. But maybe that was just it. Maybe it was because she was involved with the government that this was the only way to keep her safe. At least, the most likely way.
"If you show me evidence, I'll come with you," Bill conceded. If he was going to even consider doing it, he wanted some solid proof.
Tony shook his head. "There's no time. I'm putting you at risk just by being here. You want to do this right? You'll leave with me right now."
Bill hesitated. This didn't feel right in his heart, but it did in his gut. He had to leave. He had to stop this. He couldn't let Tony leave and have this information sit here, making his mind run wild with guilt and catastrophe. "Alright, fine."
Tony looked relieved. "There's one more thing."
"What?" Bill asked. It couldn't be anything good, since Tony wouldn't meet his eye as he spoke next.
"I also need you to promise me you'll keep Emerson out of danger. That includes him being arrested."
Bill furrowed his brow. "The mercenary? Why are you protecting him? What does he have on you?"
"I owe him." The defensiveness returned to Tony's expression, and Bill acknowledged the issue wasn't worth pressing further, not now, at least.
"Alright," he agreed.
Bill's hand shook as he wrote the note for Karen, and he wasn't surprised to find tears springing to his eyes. He told her he loved her, he told her he was sorry, but, most importantly, he told her not to look for him. He knew she would try anyway. And with government resources, there was a chance she might find him. But he trusted Tony to keep them both under the radar. If he had been in hiding for the last two years or so, he clearly knew what he was doing.
There were still so many unknowns here, which Bill didn't like at all. But as he finished writing, he understood that the situation was dire and brought great risk, so he had to do this. It terrified him to think that he might never come back to even argue with Karen about this.
He left all the necessary details for her in the event of his death, although they had updated their wills not too long ago. When he finished, he read over the words and felt finality sink into his chest. She would never forgive him for this. But if it meant keeping her safe, then it would be worth it. If this was how Tony had felt all those years ago, he could certainly empathise with that now.
Bill left the note and his phone on the bedside table and gently kissed the top of Karen's head, praying she wouldn't wake up and try to stop him. He took his gun and stood at the bedroom door, thinking about how grateful he was for the time they had had together. He just prayed that one day they would be able to recover from this, but he knew better than to delude himself.
"I'm sorry, darling," he whispered.
The last thing he did before he went outside was take the photo of their elopement that Tony had been looking at.
David woke to the sound of a key unlocking the front door. He listened intently, but soon recognised the sound of the footsteps, making him relax. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting his return, anyway.
Tony must think he was either a fool or the deepest sleeper on the planet, but he played the part well, not moving as Tony entered the room, undressed, and lay down next to him as if nothing had happened, as if he had stayed with him the whole night. At times, David wished he were that deep a sleeper, that he didn't know his partner left to go God only knows where in the middle of the night, at least a couple of times a week. Ignorance was bliss, after all, and he wished he could still meet Tony's eyes without a voice in the back of his head reminding him he couldn't be trusted.
Tony's arm moved to wrap around his waist, and David focused on keeping his breath even, on keeping himself from turning around and wrapping his hands around Tony's neck to get him to confess where he had gone and who he had met up with. Or maybe, if he was honest with himself, what he had to keep himself from doing was betraying his heartache and crying himself to sleep.
David didn't sleep much, the tension in his chest and growing anger in his mind too much to bear. Still, he let his eyes rest, opening them only as Tony got up so he could discreetly watch him. He walked into their ensuite, and David listened to the sound of running water, wondering whether he was actually showering or secretly contacting whoever he had been with last night. David strained to try to hear if it was the latter, but it was no use. The shower seemed to last as long as any other.
When Tony came out, wearing a towel, David tried to look for some kind of hint. A bruise. Scratch marks down his back. Something that he could justify to ask his questions and get the truth. The more he looked at Tony's body, the more he felt fury building up inside him, because he no longer knew if he was truly his.
Still, Tony seemed to misread the looks he was getting, because he simply grinned at him.
"Seeing something you like?" Tony asked, letting the towel drop to the floor as he went to cover David's body with his own, his lips going for his neck, while his arms wrapped around his torso.
David wanted nothing more than to give in to Tony's needs, but as Tony pulled back to look into his eyes, David found himself freezing, his mind wandering. Did Tony look at anyone else with that same pleading expression? Had he begged anyone else like he was begging him right now? Had they believed him? Had they fallen for his lies like David was about to?
In a heartbeat, David grabbed Tony fiercely and shoved him onto the mattress, face down.
"David–" Tony moaned, but he stopped him.
"Don't," David warned him, his mind already suggesting Tony had called out the name of another less than twelve hours earlier. "You're mine, Tony," he then uttered harshly, and even though he was slowly grappling with the idea that that might not be true, he had every intent of demonstrating that anyway.
David barely spoke to Tony for the rest of the day. He had been increasingly quiet, especially over the last few weeks, and Tony had indeed picked up on that. But David wouldn't give him the satisfaction of bringing up the reason for it, not until he had proof he could throw in his face. He fed Tony simple excuses, like a headache or fatigue, rather than try to explain to him how his heart was being shattered piece by piece. Somehow, it hurt more to see Tony simply go on with his life, believing that he was okay when he was anything but.
It just needed to stop.
David couldn't say what in particular struck him that night. He just knew that as he felt Tony get up to leave again, the mattress creaking just slightly, as he had done countless times in the past few months, something inside him broke. He waited until he heard Tony leave the house — the house they shared, the place David had opened to him in the hopes of making it a home — then got up and quickly put on some clothes before heading for his bike.
It'd been a while since he had done this, even as a mercenary, but he still remembered how to tail a car without being spotted. It helped that Tony wasn't expecting him to have even noticed his disappearance. David sighed. As if he could ever not notice when Tony was distant, physically or emotionally.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but the old building before him looked like it was falling apart. David could at least take pride in the luxury he had treated Tony to. Still, it stung to think he was betraying him for someone who didn't even have his fine taste. That someone appeared a few moments later. Through his binoculars, David saw an older, admittedly attractive, man step out of a car and walk inside. If he had known Tony was into that look, he might have stopped dyeing his grey hairs. But he wasn't going to delude himself into thinking that he could get Tony back. No, David's only desire right now was to make Tony pay.
It took him some time to get ready to do so. With several rounds of deep breathing and his eyes fixated on the place where Tony was just out of reach, David got out of the car, weapon in hand. Based on how long Tony usually stayed out, David knew that he and whoever else was in that room with him liked to take their time. So, David had good reason to suspect he wouldn't be walking in on them already in the throes of passion, but just getting started.
As he crept to the door, his SW99 drawn, he paused at the sound of someone moaning.
"Oh, Tony…" The man then cursed under his breath with a hiss.
So it was true. It was exactly as he had imagined. Tony had betrayed him. The vulnerability and trust that Tony had given him were being given away to somebody else. David reminded himself to breathe as he fished out a credit card to bypass the lock and step inside.
He wasn't sure what he expected to see. His mind had refused to imagine Tony in a compromising position with anybody except him. But he was a little confused to see the older, white-haired man who had entered before, sitting in a chair with his head tipped back. He had his shirt off. Tony stood behind him holding… a tube of some kind. The man turned to look at him but winced, as though tilting his neck was painful for him. Tony's eyes were wide like a deer in headlights.
"Tony," the man uttered, but his voice was calm and collected, his expression not betraying any panic, just discomfort, unlike Tony's, as he turned around.
"David…" Tony said fretfully, voice shaking and eyes pleading. "It's not how it looks!"
David didn't want to hear what Tony had to say, no matter how horrified he looked that he had shown up here. He didn't want excuses. He had caught them in the act now: there was no point in letting him continue to lie about it. Still, Tony spluttered, trying his hardest to find the words. So, David put an end to it by raising his gun at him.
"Oh, please. Don't let me interrupt you." David sneered. "You thought I didn't know? And now you think you can pull the wool over my eyes?"
He moved closer to take a better look at the scene. It seemed the stranger's pants had yet to be unzipped; he was sure Tony was just about to take care of that, but, oddly, the man didn't seem to be showing any excitement. David couldn't relate. Having Tony's skilful hands on him always got his attention. Maybe, David thought, the old man had popped a blue pill that had yet to kick in. That would explain why he hadn't found them in a more compromising position, although David noted it would have hurt far too much to see them like that.
"Bill hurt his neck. I was trying to put Voltaren on it, for Christ's sake!" Tony explained.
"And who exactly is Bill?" Part of the difficulty of this was that Tony was by his side at the compound practically twenty-four-seven. How could he have had the time to go out to meet someone, not just for a hook-up but for something as ridiculously domestic as rubbing someone's neck? Who could Tony possibly know that well? David knew all the important people in Tony's life – past and present – so who the hell was he? "Where do you know him from?"
"We met at a bar. We've been hooking up for a few months now," Bill said, and Tony shot him a bewildered look. At least the man had the courtesy to be honest, even if Tony didn't.
"Oh, so you're betraying me and your sobriety, Tony." David's hands came to his hips.
The man went to speak, but Tony preempted this by saying, "Bill, shut the hell up. Let me handle this."
David gestured to Bill, but kept his gaze on Tony. "No need to silence him, if he's willing to say what you won't."
He huffed.
"Well, go on, then, speak! Do you have nothing to say, Tony? Nothing at all?"
"He has no idea what he's talking about, please David, don't listen–"
"I'll listen to you, if you want to say something." Tony could see the fury in David's eyes as he stared him down. But he didn't look away, couldn't. At least he respected David that much. Tony opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated.
David just stared at him, disappointed. "Just as I thought."
David never broke eye contact, even as he went on to address Bill.
"So, you tell me, William. How does he like to be touched?"
Tony sighed, his dark eyes just pleading to David wordlessly, but he didn't waver, waiting for an answer as the silence that filled the distance between them grew more uncomfortable.
"Tenderly," Bill answered, but he didn't sound comfortable, least of all convincing, which only made David want to increase the pressure.
"Where does he like you to kiss him?"
If this really was as far gone as David believed, then Bill would undoubtedly know it was that little spot beneath his ear that Tony always reacted to.
"His… his neck," Bill answered.
It wasn't the specific answer he was expecting, although it was vaguely correct. But David was already thrown off by Tony's lies. He was in a paranoid mindset. Could it be that Bill did know the spot, did know every little thing about Tony that David thought only he had been privy to, and Tony had just told him to keep this part of their affair secret in an effort to protect his feelings? To try to convince him that it was sex and nothing more? But Tony should know better than to cover lies with more lies, because any breach of loyalty was like a knife to the chest for him. It didn't matter if it was just sex or a more passionate, emotional affair: Tony had betrayed him nonetheless.
David observed that Bill seemed uncomfortable and took a bit of pride in that. He was still trying to keep his cool, but it wouldn't last long if he continued. At the same time, this was so painful for him, and he needed to know the truth without any more uncertainty. There was one thing he could ask, one thing that would truly help him know who to believe.
"How does he dominate you?"
Bill's eyebrows rose. He answered somewhat vaguely again, but the fact that he agreed with the idea that Tony was like that made David a little relieved. It had taken Tony years to voice his need to give himself over to David and trust him to treat him well. At least that vulnerability, that beautiful pleading look that Tony only gave when they were alone together, his body trapped beneath David, was just between them.
"So what is it about him that you find attractive? What does he do to you that you just can't get enough of?"
"All of it. He's incredible in every way."
Again, the vagueness threw him off. Anybody who knew Tony would have far better, far more specific words to describe him. He should be professing from the rooftops how wonderful he was, but he wasn't. It made him question whether Tony wasn't just denying an emotional affair, but an affair in general. Maybe this truly wasn't what it looked like. But David couldn't think of a plausible answer. All of these questions, these doubts, these what-ifs, just made him angry.
"Is he circumcised?"
Tony shot him a baffled look, not unlike before. "Come on, David. Really?"
Obviously, he had jumped to quite a specific question. They had been watching a lot of Law and Order reruns lately, and David was admittedly taking some liberal inspiration to try to get his answers, but this was getting out of hand.
He turned to Bill. "Do you understand the question?
"Yeah."
"So, is he cut or not?"
"Yes," Bill answered stiffly.
"Which is it?" David folded his arms. "You've polished his knob twice a week for three months. You don't know if he has foreskin?"
"David, that's enough–" Tony interjected.
David looked at him sternly. "You do not get to decide when this is over. You've been going behind my back, so I deserve to get every answer I need before I decide to punish anybody about it."
"If Tony's only working for you, then why do you care so much that we're sleeping with each other?" Bill queried.
Again, every time Bill opened his mouth, Tony seemed utterly dumbfounded. Was he shocked by Bill being so blatantly honest or just confused? David honestly couldn't tell. But Bill seemed to learn something new then. Bill wouldn't look at him.
"Oh, Tony isn't just working for you, is he?" Bill realised, then turned to Tony. "That's why you wanted to protect him, isn't it?"
Tony gave a small nod, and David grew more confused. Protect him? From what? What more could be going on? More than that, he didn't like the way Tony looked almost ashamed for Bill to be bringing that up. Maybe Bill was poisoning his mind, trying to mess with him so he could have him all to himself. David recognised his toxic, possessive side was coming out, but he was too hurt to care or try to stop it.
In one swift motion, he pulled Bill up by the collar and shoved him against the wall. He cried out in pain. It hadn't been that hard, but the man wasn't exactly a spring chicken. Had David not been blinded by rage, he would have noticed the Voltaren tube on the table that corroborated Tony's explanation of just trying to help relax his muscles.
Tony could only watch with panic as David started physically threatening Bill. In the corner of his eye, Tony seemed quite afraid of what he was doing, his expression almost defeated.
"I see what this is about. You're insecure," Bill pointed out, voice weak. "Well, you must be right because why else would he come to me unless you weren't good enough?"
"Bill!" Tony exclaimed. "Can you stop pouring gasoline on the fire I'm trying to put out? You don't have to lie! This is already over. Don't make it worse." He then looked at David. "Put him down. Please. Put him down so we can explain."
David tightened his grip on his collar. He could shoot him. He would shoot him if he got any angrier. But the fact was, it wasn't just anger here: it was pain. The kind that made his knees buckle, his heart ache, and his head spin. Yes, he was being quite irrational, but he could also recognise that what he wanted here was the truth. He wanted to know how much Tony had betrayed him and in what ways.
But Tony seemed to realise that words weren't enough here, striding across the room to grab his shoulder and force David to face him, uncaring of the gun just inches away. Up close, the desperate pleading look he had was only more intense, and David could see he was starting to tear up.
"David, he has no idea what he's saying," Tony implored. "He doesn't know what we have, how much you mean to me, what he's making light of."
David stared him down again, as though trying to look into his soul. He found himself regaining control over his emotions, compartmentalising the way he always had. "Is what he said true?" David asked, his voice soft but commanding at the same time.
"No," Tony assured him, his shoulders relaxing as if influenced by David's odd calmness. There was undoubtedly rage between them, but David was trying his hardest not to react impulsively as he so often did, and that was a testament to how much he wanted to understand what was going on and why Tony would betray him like this.
"Why do you come here?" David asked quietly.
"Because he loves me!" Bill chimed in, his voice sounding almost desperate, but neither of them seemed to react to his outrageous claims anymore. No, their eyes never left each other, like nothing else mattered, like neither was ready to give up on the other without an explanation.
"Is that true?" David inquired, but Tony shook his head.
"No, of course not."
"Why else then?"
Tony smiled a little, his hand coming up to caress his cheek. "I come here because I love you, believe it or not."
David scoffed. "You'll understand I find it hard to believe that."
Tony looked away in shame as he prepared to confess. "Something changed lately. You've started taking new jobs that are getting more and more dangerous."
David looked at him, perplexed. What Tony was saying was true, but what did that have to do with anything?
"When I first started working for you, you seemed to have a work ethic, a morality. There were jobs you never would have taken. But now you are. And I feel it's turning you into a man I don't recognise, one I… one I don't think I could bring myself to love."
David couldn't remember the last time Tony had been that honest with him, and it made his heart swell, a big sense of relief coming over him. That divide between them had been so hellish. It felt good to think they were finally being upfront and direct, the way they used to.
"Who is he, really?" David asked, the break in his voice betraying his pain, and beneath that, the anger he still hadn't released.
"He used to run CTU," Tony explained, and David knew he was telling the truth now. "He's the only person affiliated with the government I still trust.
David nodded, thoughtful. "You fucked?" David finally asked after a moment, and once again, Tony's reaction of surprise at the topic assured David a little. He didn't seem caught off-guard or embarrassed: he just seemed stunned by the accusation.
"David, I told you I-"
"You told me you don't love him, and I believe you. But did you fuck him?"
"No."
"He fucked you?"
"David!" Tony exclaimed, but David was still waiting for an answer. "No! I never could have done that to you. Please believe me–"
"Did you want him to?" David asked, and Tony hesitated just long enough for David to notice.
"No," Tony said, and David sighed.
"You can't lie to me, you know that," David just pointed out, and Tony knew. David could read him like a book; he could never lie to him. Keeping things from him and lying by omission, that he could do. But when asked a direct question, Tony's expression would always betray him.
"Am I not enough for you, is that it?" David asked, suddenly angry. "I could have dealt with you going to a Fed, I really could have. If you were truly concerned about my work and wanted to cut us a deal with the US Attorney, I could at least see that as you caring about me. But if that is true, if you want him–"
Tony shook his head, saying with conviction, "I don't. Not now." He then shrugged vaguely, as though feeling a need to give all the details since it was apparent David didn't trust him right now. "I had thought about it once, but that was long before you found me."
"When?"
"When my wife told me he was good in bed." Out of the corner of his eye, Bill raised an eyebrow. That confession seemed to be news to him, and only further affirmed to David that this betrayal was not an affair. "They were together after our divorce." He shook his head. "But it was just a fantasy years ago. It doesn't mean anything. David, you have to know I would never cheat on you."
"And you have to know that any kind of secrecy or lying from someone I love hurts. Even though I believe you, you still decided to hide things from me, after all I've done is try to give you a place to be vulnerable, to be safe–"
"It wasn't like that. I wasn't confiding in Bill. I wasn't putting him before you. I would never put anyone before you–"
"But you'd betray me?" David spat, cutting him off. "Break my trust, go behind my back to rat out to the Fed you thought looked hot?"
"I was trying to save you!"
Save him? From what? His own morality? His own choices? All he was doing was trying to make enough money so that he and Tony could leave this kind of life behind for good. Everything he was doing was for them. Why hadn't Tony understood? How could David have driven him so far away that he would go to a Fed, of all people? He just needed to understand, so he could have even a small hope that he and Tony would get out of this alive and unscathed.
"Tonight, we were discussing options," Bill explained. "From day one, Tony has wanted to protect you, since, with something so high-profile, the FBI would find you in no time. We've been discussing terms for a deal so you two wouldn't be incriminated or, at the very least, could give the FBI something so they leave you alone. You've got a Rolodex of Ike Dubaku's contacts. A few names and addresses might just be it."
David glanced at Tony beside him, wanting confirmation.
Tony nodded. "It's true. We're in here three nights a week trying to find a way to bring him down and keep you and me out of it."
David took a good, hard look at him and knew they were all on the same page for real, then finally put his gun away. "Show me what you have in mind."
David had decided he wouldn't say anything, good or bad, about this plan until he had all the information. But what he had made clear, by locking the doors and keeping his weapon at arm's reach, was that nobody was leaving until he was satisfied with the plan and trusted every part of it. If they got hungry, they would order takeout, and he would answer the door. No phones were to be answered unless necessary; his crew wasn't on any jobs at the moment, so he could follow that rule himself, too. If he didn't like something or still suspected Bill and Tony were not being upfront with him, he would kill Bill without hesitation. Tony would be upset, and David wasn't sure what he would do with him. Truth be told, he just wanted Tony home with him. But he wouldn't give away that vulnerability. Even if nobody really believed that he would hurt Tony, the cat regarding the true nature of their relationship had already been let out of the bag, he still needed to assert himself.
He stood over Bill's shoulder, who brought up a variety of files about Dubaku. Bill seemed to be rubbing the back of his neck, subconsciously. David did realise now he had overreacted, just a little, about assuming that he and Tony had been engaged in some kind of domestic foreplay. But he made no apologies about how he had reacted to Tony going behind his back. The pain of that still sat in his chest.
Although nobody was actively confrontational, one could still cut the tension in the room with a knife. Bill seemed to realise that, because he cleared his throat and excused himself, muttering something about grabbing a hard drive.
David's eyes went to Tony, who wouldn't look at him. He had an expression that David likened to a dog with its tail between its legs. Still, he seemed desperate to say something, but unable to find the right words. There were no words. Tony had betrayed him in a way that he knew had hurt him, and David wasn't about to open his arms with forgiveness. Yes, he understood what Tony had been trying to do, but it was no excuse. He had given Tony a safe place to be himself. They had spent many nights in each other's arms talking about everything they had been through, so to think that Tony had felt a need to be secretive about this made David not just mad at him, but himself, too. How could he have driven Tony away and not have realised until it was this far gone?
Finally, Tony decided to speak, the silence too painful for him to bear, "David, I–"
But David wasn't ready to just accept this, bluntly stating, "Spare me your apologies."
"Everything I did, I did for you," Tony begged.
"I believe you," David clarified, but he sounded cold and detached, and Tony seemed very hurt by it, understanding that this was not just going to go away.
When Tony next opened his mouth, he sounded very afraid, and for that second, David acknowledged that this decision probably hadn't been easy for him to make. "Have I lost you?" Tony looked up at him, waiting for an answer, and he shook his head.
"I'm going to need time to process this. You went behind my back, and you know how much I value trust," David explained, voice stern. "But I still…" He couldn't bring himself to say that, not yet. "I still care about you, and in time, I'll forgive you." David had to believe he would. No matter how much this hurt, he couldn't lose Tony. He couldn't. "But it's hard for me to even look at you right now."
Tony nodded. "I hate myself for hurting you like this. But if this works, if I can save you from yourself, then it'll all be worth it."
David's jaw twitched slightly. He was irritated by the notion that Tony had done this to 'save' him from something bigger than himself. As if David couldn't protect himself. He just couldn't understand how that had driven Tony so far that he had been willing to go behind his back. Was this really just about morality? After opening his eyes to the cruelty and hypocrisy of the government, he was going back to thinking about right and wrong? It just didn't add up. Even if Bill was a former Fed, he seemed averse to associating with the government, too. This was all underground and would only come out at the right time, briefly, which David respected.
Bill returned with a hard drive that he promptly plugged into the computer. He then told him and Tony to come see something. There was information regarding Ike Dubaku and his plans to breach the CIP firewall, nothing he hadn't seen before. Admittedly, though, the plans were more far-fetched and risky than Dubaku had made them sound. This could very easily backfire. The FBI would be all over this, searching for any and all connections to him. David knew there were many people on Dubaku's payroll, including government agents, but what he was being contracted to do would get him flagged pretty quickly, even if someone in the FBI could cover his tracks.
"If we can't trust anybody in the government, it's up to us to stop Dubaku from going too far. Breaching the CIP firewall will tear this country apart, irrevocably. I can't in good conscience let that happen," Bill explained before turning to look at him. "I realise that that probably wasn't your priority. However, whatever Dubaku told you about having it under control was a lie, because as soon as the attacks start, you'll be on their radar and with your priors, you're not exactly in a position to get a deal with the Attorney General."
David appreciated that Bill wasn't trying to just guilt or convince him with arguments about morals. However, that last part made him pause. Bill shouldn't give a rat's ass about his protection. But Tony did. And suddenly it really, truly made sense. Tony was loyal to the people and things he cared about, almost to a fault. He had been loyal to the government, and they had screwed him over after he had saved Michelle. He had been loyal to Michelle, so loyal that he pushed her away in the belief that she could do better without him, and then he had lost her. Even though logically, it had been impossible for Tony to know that Michelle's car had had a bomb beneath it, he still held guilt over not being able to save her. David had known that from the very first nightmare, his very first night at the compound.
"I couldn't save her," Tony explained, shuddering as he wiped a tear from under his eye. "I couldn't save her!"
"You couldn't have known-"
"But I was supposed to protect her!"
He looked at Tony. Now what he had said before made sense. "You wanted to protect me. That's… that's why you did this." David finally understood, his voice softer in a way that immediately made Tony look up with hope. "It's because of her. You lost her and felt like you should have protected her, so now you're trying your damnedest to protect me?"
"Yes," Tony confessed, his body reacting the way it always did when his wife came up, with shaking and frailty like he was always just a moment away from breaking down.
Without caring for the third person in the room, David grabbed Tony and crushed his lips to his. God, he loved him so much. He was still upset. He still wanted to talk about this, but now that he knew, undoubtedly, that Tony had just been trying to look out for him, he wanted to show his appreciation.
"I'm still upset with you, but I need you to know I'm not going anywhere. No matter how caught up I was with the idea of wealth, I wasn't going to be stupid about it," David explained, before realising what Tony really needed to hear. "You're not going to lose me, Tony."
Tony squeezed him back. "Thank you," he whispered.
When they parted, rationality returned to him. He clearly couldn't tell Dubaku that he was going back on his promise. Even if Dubaku kept his diamonds, he would probably want to silence him and his crew for the information David knew about him. At the same time, David really didn't want to go through with something so risky.
"So, what do you suggest we do?" he asked Bill.
"We work together. You do exactly what you promised him, you can take your diamonds, and you can flee the country with Tony. The relationship between the US and Sangala is rocky as it is. I need to try to preserve whatever peace I can."
"Wait, by yourself, Bill?" Tony asked. "I said I could help you–"
He shook his head. "You've done more than enough for me. I'll be fine. I'll get Chloe to help me with this side of things. I still know some retired CIA agents who can help me, too. We'll be fine. I don't want you to risk going to prison again."
Tony seemed very grateful for that. David certainly was, too, knowing how Tony had barely coped with prison the first time. Despite being someone who liked to keep control over situations, hence why he ran his own crew and didn't work for anybody else, David recognised that he could trust Bill here. It helped that Tony had endorsed him, and he respected Tony's opinion. In any case, this all seemed sound. Bill didn't have his own agenda other than stopping major destruction everywhere. And if he was willing to let him and Tony get away from it all quietly, then who was he to complain? They would be together. Nothing else was more important.
David nodded. "Alright then, so let's work together to make this happen."
And when he met Tony's eyes, seeing his shoulders slump with relief made David know for sure that he never wanted to leave Tony in the dark again. Because when he had someone who cared for him so much, the last thing he wanted was to make him suffer.
Tony's heart was still racing, even though the plane had been in the air for quite some time. They had really pulled it off, without a scratch. The Matobos were safe, the CIP device was in the FBI's hands, but he and David had managed to get away before anybody could connect them. Granted, Jack showing up at the FBI had thrown a spanner in the works, but Bill had vetoed whatever protests he had had and allowed everything to go on as planned.
Tony looked out the window at the cloudy skies, allowing them to bring him back to the present. In a little while, they would be in Havana, their own little paradise far away from it all. Nothing made him happier than the thought of the two of them on a beach together. The sun blazing down, sand beneath their feet, the sound of crashing waves bringing them peace.
David's hand came to his shoulder. "Are you alright?"
Tony looked back at him with a small nod, covering his hand with his own. "I am now."
"I want you to know that I'm glad you went to Bill," David said after a beat. "Because things could have gone very badly today and I'm glad they didn't."
Tony felt gratitude flood his chest. He had expected David to never forgive him for that, knowing loyalty was so important to him. But clearly, with today having made them appreciate and acknowledge that they were both here together, alive and well, when just one or two things out of place could have meant the opposite, he had come around. David had placed his faith in him and Bill, and Tony would never forget that. He would call Bill to thank him personally for allowing him and David to flee the country. Despite their rocky start, Tony was thankful that Bill had given him that opportunity when he had had every reason not to.
"I just wanted to protect you," Tony said, even though he had said it many times before. "That's the only thing that matters to me."
"And I, you," he agreed.
David then shifted to the table in front of him, where the bag of diamonds was. He hadn't let it out of his sight. They would be meeting the broker when they landed to liquidate them so they would have their means to live. David took one of the small diamonds, staring at it with fondness.
"David, I think you've counted and inspected them about five times now," Tony joked. "They haven't disappeared: we've been watching them the whole time."
David shook his head before turning around. "I was just doing the calculations… even two-thirds of the diamonds will give us more than enough to live off, in combination with what I've already saved for us." He then took the single diamond and unfurled Tony's hand, placing it there. "So, why don't I get someone to make us some rings?"
Tony blinked at him a few times. He hadn't just… implied what Tony thought he was implying. His stunned expression made David chuckle.
"Are you…" Tony's voice shook. "Are you proposing?"
"Well, one of the reasons I picked Cuba was because you and I can get legally married there, so, yes, Tony, I am."
It just didn't feel real. It was enough of a miracle that they had made it out alive together, but this, to really, truly, mark their love and commitment to each other was everything. David was everything to him.
"Then nothing would honour me more than to be your husband."
Their lips met chastely, Tony lightly running his hand through David's hair. As David pushed him back against the recliner, Tony frantically tried to put the diamond down on the table again with his free hand, so he could cup David's cheeks.
"Ever joined the mile-high club, Tony?" David asked breathlessly.
Tony furrowed his brow a little. "Does it even count on a private plane? The pilot's not exactly going to walk in on us."
David grinned. "Why don't we find out?"
After a long and hasty debrief at the FBI, Bill was just glad he would be able to sleep in the loft tonight, and not a rock-hard cot in a holding room. There were no charges against him, Chloe, or Jack. Everything had gone as planned. Tony and David had fled the country without a scratch. The CIP device was in safe hands. Jack was still at the FBI since his daughter had shown up looking for him. Chloe was trying to catch a flight back to LA with her husband and son.
Bill sighed as he finished performing the usual security checks and entered the loft. While it had never been a loud or bustling place, it did feel very different to be alone here. And that was when it hit him that everybody had been reunited with families or partners, except him. He hadn't seen or spoken to Karen since he'd left her almost a year ago. God, he missed her. And although the danger had almost certainly passed now, he did not feel worthy of going back to her. How could he, when he had disappeared in the middle of the night and never looked back? Even though it had been to protect her, and she might understand that, that was not something one did to their spouse.
As Bill went to shower and get ready for bed, it started to rain. The wind made the bare tree branches rattle against the window. Thunder rumbled in the distance. He almost laughed at the reminder of the circumstances under which Tony had appeared at his doorstep that night.
At least, the noise would make him feel a little less alone, he thought to himself.
A loud knock at the door startled him as he came out of the bathroom. Maybe Chloe had forgotten something. Then again, she had a key, so why knock? Bill grabbed his gun, although he didn't feel like he needed it for some reason, and made his way down the stairs.
His heart stopped when he saw Karen standing there, drenched.
"Karen…" he breathed, but in seconds, her lips were on his, arms around his neck to keep him close. He could smell the Elizabeth Arden perfume she always wore, feel the soft fabric of the cashmere scarf he had bought her for her birthday, and taste the cinnamon from the chai she always liked to drink at this time of year.
When they parted, he was almost affronted by the sting of her hand across his cheek. But he supposed he deserved that.
"Don't ever, ever, leave me like that again," she warned, her voice thick. "You had me worried sick."
"I know," he lamented. "I'm sorry. But it's over now."
"Damn right, it is. I've been following you all day."
His eyebrows rose. "You have?" How could he not have noticed? Had their security protocols not been stringent enough?
"I'm your wife. I know you better than anybody," Karen pointed out, as though reading his mind. "But I didn't put anything at risk. Your secrets are safe with me."
"I can explain everything. I know I didn't give you very much when I left, but you need to understand I was trying to protect you."
To his surprise, she didn't seem very demanding about that. "I'm still upset that you kept me out of it, but I'm also very proud of you. You did something braver than any bureaucrat in the J Edgar Hoover building ever could. You risked it all to do the right thing, and I can't fault you for trying to keep me safe."
He kissed her again, floored by her words and understanding. She didn't resist, seeming to want to cherish every moment now that they were together again.
"I love you so much," Karen uttered, cupping his face.
"I love you, too."