“I realised something.” He says as they get into bed.
Nadia looks back at him. “What?”
Things are still tense between them. The fact that Kamdar’s dead has eased some, but not all, of it. There’s still so much they need to talk about, and he’s realised that not having honesty and openness between them like they used to has been slowly killing him. He looks over at her. She’s tired; she’s been on edge since Kamdar nearly killed her, and she’s been hesitant to let anybody else touch her, him included. Even though nothing happened between them in that sense, he imagines that all of this time with Kamdar has brought up a lot of old memories she’d rather forget. But unfortunately, there’s still one thing about Kamdar that’s still affecting them.
“Because Kamdar never filed your divorce papers,” he says the name with as little disgust as he can because he doesn’t need to make this more difficult than it is, “our marriage isn’t legal. Because you weren’t technically single at that point in time.”
She had been pulling the covers up but stilled. “How did the priest not pick that up?” The tone of her voice isn’t entirely solemn. He’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“I don’t know. Probably doesn’t help that the priest was a friend of Hayak’s.”
She seems deep in thought, but he can’t read her. And as the silence perpetuates, he realises that she doesn’t seem nearly as upset about this as he is.
“So now that Kamdar’s dead… I’m single.”
“Yeah,” He says warily. “I… I’m not sure what you want to do. We can go somewhere nice, Hawaii maybe...”
“No.”
He blinks at her. “No?”
Nadia scoffs. “You think that after everything that’s happened, I’m just going to marry you again? You think you have the right to call yourself my husband when you’ve been nothing but unfaithful to me ever since she came into our lives?”
She has a point, even though he doesn’t want to admit it right now. What started as a simple favour to help a mother and her son had turned into a test of loyalty and priorities. He’s done so much for Thony, and he can’t deny that he cares for her and Luca. He’s tried to convince himself that those moments he had with Thony were just a way of comforting her, but he knows that’s a lie. He felt something for her. He’s beyond the point of pretending that he didn’t. But he loves his wife with all of his heart. And ever since Kamdar made his way into their lives, he’s been made so aware of how much he doesn’t want to lose her. With him dead now, he can focus on making it up to her.
“Nadia, please-” He begs weakly.
“Get out.” She orders. “You’re not my husband. You’re not staying here.”
He won’t fight her on this. In all fairness, most of his things are still half in a suitcase from when she kicked him out the other day. There’s a fight within him. A part of him believes that they made vows to each other and that she shouldn’t be so quick to do this. But a more rational, less egotistical part of him also understands why. He hasn’t been putting her first, and he needs to change that. At the same time, he loves her, and he needs her, and he doesn’t want to be alone right now. He sighs, standing from the bed and getting dressed.
“Can I stay at La Habana?” He asks, respectful enough to acknowledge that the club is no longer his property.
“No, you can stay at a hotel.”
That’s fair, he supposes. He feels like an idiot now. Of course, she wouldn’t have just taken him back and pretended that everything was okay. She’s never been one to sugarcoat, and he’s always appreciated that about her. It makes him wonder at what point he should have stopped catering to Thony’s every whim. He’s at the door when Nadia says his name. As he turns around, he sees her expression has softened, like she doesn’t want to do this but is doing it for their own good.
“I want you to prove it,” Nadia says. “I want you to prove to me that you are done with her for good and that you’re committed to me. Then maybe I’ll think about marrying you again.”
He nods. “I love you. I love you so much, and I promise you that I’m going to start acting like it.”
There’s a hint of a smile on her face, and he feels a surge of hope. “You better.”
Kamdar’s men shove them out of the car, and Arman feels a sense of deja vu. He’s been here before. He isn’t sure why Kamdar is alive, but he and Thony are both uncuffed before they are led into the abandoned home. It occurs to him all at once where this is: the house he killed Maya in. This is a dream. This is a way for his conscience to remind him how low he can sink. How did it get this far? He’s so far removed from who he used to be. His business might be dirty, but he never wanted to be the kind of person who saw an innocent as an acceptable loss. That was never his intention. It was why he saved Thony. It was his downfall, really. Maybe that was why he stopped caring when Kamdar started using him as a hitman because driving Thony away felt like the only way to undo what he did. But she kept coming back. The same thing will happen again. He will raise the gun and shoot Maya to keep him and Thony safe. It’s not a choice he’s proud of, but he stands by it. He manages to collect himself by the time they make it through the plastic tarps into the room. He’s in control here. This isn’t real. It doesn’t mean anything.
All of that goes out the window when Kamdar gestures not to Maya but to Nadia.
Her eyes meet his, and she screams. Her makeup is smudged, and despite the duct tape on her mouth, she’s begging him to help her with everything she has. There’s an anger there that Maya didn’t have. He instinctively goes to free her but is stopped by Kamdar. He doesn’t need to say anything; the message is clear: he has to choose. Kamdar places the gun on the table and slides it over to him. At the same time, he commands one of his men to raise his gun to Thony’s temple. He stands there with his hands on his hips impatiently. Kamdar walks to where Nadia is, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as though he’s not the monster that’s making this happen.
“Who’s it going to be, Arman?” He asks.
He can hear Thony quietly plead from beside him. He can’t bring himself to look at her because he’s too fixated on Nadia. The decision should be simple, but he can’t move, he can’t breathe, and every passing second makes him feel worse. Kamdar starts to count, and he can’t do this, he won’t do this. He knows what he should do, but nothing feels right.
When Kamdar gets to three, he grabs the gun and points it at himself. Everything fades to black. He wakes up panting and dripping with sweat. For a split second, he isn’t sure if it’s blood. His mouth is dry, and he clumsily reaches for the bedside lamp. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and makes it to the ensuite in time to empty the contents of his stomach. He lets out a sob, the images from his dream flashing in his mind. A part of him doesn’t remember what is real and what isn’t. He needs to hear her voice. He stands with a slight wobble and splashes cold water on his face, pausing to look at himself in the mirror. He’s a mess. His eyes are puffy from crying. He’s tired, God, he’s so tired. After a moment, he makes his way back to the bed. He sits on the edge, grabbing his phone and calling.
The phone is about to ring out before, finally, she picks up. “Armando?” She mumbles.
“Yeah, it’s me.” He rasps.
Nadia groans in some combination of confusion, sleeplessness, and annoyance. “What do you want?”
“I… I just needed to hear your voice.” He admits weakly.
There’s a rustling of the sheets, as though she might not intend on hanging up on him just yet.
“I can’t do this anymore.” He says, his voice breaking. “Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t lose you, cariño. You’re everything to me.”
“What happened?” There’s a flicker of pity in her voice, but it’s hard to hear beneath her stony facade.
“I… “ He gulps, hot tears streaming down his face. “I dreamt about what Kamdar made me do. When he forced me to choose between Maya and Thony, but…” He clears his throat. “Instead of Maya, it was you.”
There’s a pause. Somehow, he doesn’t think it’s because she feels bad for him.
“You did this for her, and now you’ve come whining to me?” She says coldly. “Who did you choose? Huh?”
He clenches his jaw. “Don’t make me think about-“
“No, Armando, I want you to. I want you to tell me right now, who would you choose if it was between her and me?”
The mere thought makes his chest tighten, and tears spring to his eyes. He looks down and sees the gun again, and oh, God, he’s back there again. He sees Nadia’s eyes begging him not to do it, he hears Thony begging him not to do it, he feels every fibre of his being begging him not to do it.
“Armando?” She asks, with less distaste and more concern. “Armando, I asked you a question.”
“I don’t-“ The words come out pathetically. “I don’t know. I shot myself in the dream.”
Nadia scoffs, and he can practically hear her roll her eyes.
“It’s not because I can’t choose. It’s because I hate that I’m even put into these situations. What happened to us? We had everything we wanted, and now look at us.”
“She. She happened to us. Why can’t you understand that?” She yells. “Why can’t you see that this is her fault? God, I wish you’d never met her.”
“I was trying to do a good thing by helping her son, alright?”
“I understand and sympathise with what she’s going through. I do. I’m not the heartless, jealous bitch you think I am. You think ever since I found out we couldn’t have kids, I’ve dealt with it by being cold.” She begins. “Yes, I’ve detached, so I can look at the photos of my niece and nephew or walk down the street and see a family without bursting into tears. But that does not mean I don’t care.” She explains calmly. “I just cannot let you go on risking our livelihood, everything we’d ever built, for her.“
“You don’t understand. I couldn’t watch that little boy die-“
“You do not get to tell me I don’t understand!”
One way or another, it was going to end up here. It always did. “Don’t bring this up.” He’s not saying it because he’s being selfish. On the contrary, he can’t watch her break down over this again. He’s comforted her time and time again when the topic comes up. He knows she’s never healed from it. He can’t do this again, and certainly not now.
“You started it. You know, at least Robert supported me when I talked about my feelings-”
There it is. If he has to hear his name one more fucking time-
“He was controlling.”
“But he wasn’t absent.” She insists.
“Bullshit. I was there for you!” He points at his chest, no longer caring about trying to keep his voice down. “Every God-damned negative pregnancy test, every miscarriage, when our son was stillborn, I was there, not him.”
“And whose fault was that?”
His jaw twitches. “Do not go there. You know that it’s both of us.”
“Yeah, but you’re the one who said not to use a sperm donor, and I agreed so you wouldn’t be embarrassed or resent that kid because it wasn’t yours.”
He knows this is a touchy subject for him. It fires up his emotions like nothing else does. It also, unfortunately, gives him a tendency to run his mouth and say very stupid things. “Is that what he offered you? To give you the child that I couldn’t-“
“Oh, por el amor de Cristo, enough with your jealousy.”
“I’m not jealous-“
“You’re being possessive. You’re treating me like your commodity, like an asset.” Nadia states, and she’s unfortunately correct. When he gets like this, it makes him protective and controlling, the type of man he doesn’t like being, especially not around her. “For the last time, I never did anything with him. I know he’s manipulative. I never once believed any of his promises. I’m over him. I’ve been over him for years, Armando.” He can tell she’s trying not to cry. “Why don’t you trust me enough to believe that? I trust you. Despite everything you’ve done for her behind my back, I still trust you because I love you.”
Arman sighs. What did he do to deserve her? Even when she’s pointing out how much he’s fucked up, she’s doing it with love, she’s not giving up on them. She had every right to kick him out of their home, and somehow she’s both conveying that she stands by that, but also doesn’t want it to be this way. Where did he go wrong? How did he let himself get so caught up in Thony’s mess that he forgot the woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life with? All signs point to him loving Thony, loving her more than Nadia. The idea of that doesn’t feel right, and it’s not because he’s in denial; it’s because it’s not true. He might not have made his choice in his dream, but that doesn’t mean he can’t. He believes that Thony and her family don’t deserve to suffer, but now his family has suffered and for far too long. When he was in the depths of working for Hayak, despite loving the money and the power that came with it, he’d always wanted to do something more. He never liked hurting people. It was why he cared so damn much about protecting Thony. But maybe that was just it. This wasn’t about Thony. This was about trying to be better. This was about trying to find a way out so that he and Nadia could live their lives in peace but not without luxury. Thony had been the key. The one to give him the chance to silence Hayak permanently. But she’d nearly fucked up and stopped them from doing the same thing to free themselves of Kamdar. He nearly lost Nadia because of it. He couldn’t let that happen again.
He wouldn't let that happen again.
“You’re right.” He sighs. “I… I do trust you. You killed Kamdar. You cleaned up the mess I made. You fixed things for us.”
Nadia seems almost shocked by his candour.
“I care about Thony and her family. But I care about you more, and I’m done being her lackey. I’m done dropping everything and running to help her.”
“But why did you keep doing it in the first place?” She asks, making a very valid point. “If you knew what was most important, why did you keep doing it?”
He lifts a shoulder. “I… I don’t know. I felt like I couldn’t leave her when she was depending on me. But I should have stopped it before it got to that point. The only reason I didn’t was because I thought we could free ourselves of Hayak. I thought we could use the fact that she cared about me to keep us safe from the Feds.”
“You do care about her.” She points out, seemingly accepting of it. “You don’t have to lie to me about that part. And I’ll admit she has been… useful. But not anymore. Now? She’s a threat to us. We have everything back now. We have La Habana. We have our home. We have our freedom.” The fact that she’s saying ‘we’ and not ‘I’ isn’t lost on him. He’s unsure whether it was intentional, but she isn’t correcting herself. “And we have each other. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“I don’t want to lose you either,” Arman says, slightly choked up. “I… I just want to fix this. I want to be us again. You make me so happy. I love you so much.”
Nadia sniffles. “I love you too. But I mean it, Armando. Words aren’t enough here. You need to show me.” She says sternly before her voice softens. “Now, get some sleep.”
He understands what she’s asking, he does.
Which is why he’s going to do everything he can to make this right.
He watches Thony walk through the doors. She’s long since lost the apprehension or feeling of non-belonging she used to have when she came to La Habana. There’s an entitlement there now. She feels she has the right to come here and demand anything and everything of him, but it’s gone too far, and he has to put an end to it. Which is exactly what’s going to happen. He’s going to pull her aside, tell her that whatever arrangement they used to have is over, and she will listen to him. She has to. He will not allow her to change his mind, to compromise once again. Nadia catches sight of her first and immediately strides forward to meet her halfway before she can get to the back office where he’s standing. Arman steps outside into the main room, desperate to stop this from becoming more difficult than it has to be.
Nadia folds her arms. “You’re not welcome here, Thony.”
She smiles. “Arman sent me.”
There’s a scoff, but it’s hesitant, like she wants Thony to be wrong but is worried that she’s right. “I doubt it.”
“I did, actually.” He says, and everything suddenly feels very quiet. Nadia whips her head around with a look of fear and betrayal that he never wants to see again. He holds up his hand, walking towards her, and placing a hand around her waist, holding her close. He’s not letting go. “Because it’s over, Thony. You’re not welcome here anymore. If you show up here, you will be escorted off the property. If you try to call me, I will hang up.” He means every word he says. There’s no doubt here. This is not just something he needs to do if he and Nadia have any chance of healing; this is something he wants to do. Every second he spends with Thony drags him backwards. At first, she was making him better. She was showing him the way out. But now, she’s no better than he was. And after barely making it out of prison, he wouldn't take that chance again. Nor was he about to risk Nadia’s life.
“I-I…” She stammers. “I don’t understand, Arman.”
“We’ve done enough for you. We helped you get Luca what he needs, but we can’t keep putting our lives on the line for you.” He says sternly, without trying to sound too harsh. She looks heartbroken, and he hates to see her so upset, knowing he’s the reason. But he doesn’t regret it. “I’m sorry, Thony, but I’m drawing the line here.”
Thony shakes her head. “B-But what about Luca? He’s not in the clear yet. A-And Fi, I need you to get her back-“
“Well, somebody else has to do it. You’ve got connections in the FBI, so use them.”
She huffs. “The only connection I had was Garrett, and he’s dead!”
He wants to help her. He does. It’s as though she’s dangling over the edge of a cliff, and he’s just let go of her hand. But if there’s a way to help her without risking themselves, he can’t see it. And more than that, if they risk crossing international waters, it could be game over for all of them. Mexico or Argentina was one thing. At the very least, it was familiar territory for them. But they would be on their own in the Philippines. If they got stuck there… they’d lose everything. There was nobody who would want to risk their asses to help them. He and Nadia had already lost so many connections as it was after double-crossing Hayak. They didn’t have many people on their side anymore.
“Yeah, well, maybe he wouldn’t be dead if it wasn’t for that stunt you pulled with reviving Kamdar,” Nadia says. “You nearly got me killed.”
Thony looks guilty, but the fact is her son always comes first, so he doesn’t believe she would change her decision if given another chance. “I-I was trying to get the medication-“
“Which I told you I was going to get once everything ended up in Nadia’s name.” He reminds her, not wanting Nadia to defend herself because he needs to do it. “You didn’t listen to me, Thony.” There are tears in her eyes, but he does not allow that to stop him. “I know that everything you do is for your family, so why can’t you see that I’m doing the same for mine?”
She shakes her head, looking incredibly disappointed and disheartened. There’s unspoken betrayal there, not just about this, but also the brief moments of vulnerability they’d shared. He’s thinking about what happened with Kamdar and Maya. He’s sure she is, too.
“You… you saved my life. You care about me.” Thony says bravely. “You can’t just give up on me after that.”
“I do care about you. I’m not denying that, but you are not the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with.” He hasn’t met Nadia’s eyes yet; he hopes those words mean something to her. “I don’t love you, Thony.” That hits Thony like a punch to the face, but it’s true. She was a way out, she was his freedom, and she was the drive to make him a better person. But now that he’s become that person, he doesn’t need her anymore. And more than that, he’s no longer performing ‘good deeds’ for her. Smuggling drugs and people across the border wasn’t him anymore. More than that, she was doing nothing to show her gratitude. He hadn’t expected it to be tit-for-tat, but at the very least, he had expected her to not hinder his efforts.
“I-If you don’t love me, then why did you kill Maya?”
“I did that to protect our cover.” He says bluntly. “It wasn’t an act of love. It was a choice that I agonised over because I don't kill innocent people. Even when I worked for Hayak, that was where I drew the line.”
Thony wipes under her eyes. “So… so this is it? You’re just shutting me out?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what this is.” Arman says. “I can’t help you anymore. I wish you all the best for your family.” He says this genuinely. However, he is sure she doesn’t believe him.
She looks furious, the way she was when the doctors were dismissing her pleas to help Luca. It’s that fierce protectiveness in her. But it soon dissipates because it’s clear that her heartbreak is taking the lead here. She shakes her head and turns around, resembling a dog with its tail between its legs, slamming the door in her wake. She at least has the dignity to not put up a fight, likely knowing that the bouncers at La Habana will outnumber her. There’s a pregnant silence, and when he finally musters the courage to look down at Nadia, she’s full of relief.
“Thank you,” Nadia whispers, the appreciation plain in her eyes. There’s sympathy there, too, recognition of how hard that was for him. “You… you have no idea how much that means to me.”
Arman pulls her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head. “I told you I was going to make it up to you, and I meant it.”
They step out into the sun, and he finally takes his hands off her eyes. She looks at the plane and then back at him. “Where are we going?”
“Buenos Aires.”
She seems shocked but overjoyed, although she’s trying not to look too excited. After the confrontation with Thony, things have eased significantly between them, but they still have a lot to work through. He is also sure she’s worried that Thony might try to come back despite his request. She was determined like that. But it had been two weeks, and so far, nothing. Which is why he’d planned this, to take her mind off things for a while. Thony couldn’t find them in Argentina, at least.
“I know you’ve wanted to see your sister for a while, but we’ve just been caught up with... well, everything.” He sighs, unable to stop himself from smiling at seeing her look happy for the first time in what felt like forever. “So I told Claudia to keep an eye on La Habana for a while, and now we can just spend some time together.”
“Ah, now these make sense.” She says, gesturing to the luggage he told her to pack.
The flight is mostly spent sipping champagne and talking, the simple way they used to when things were simpler. Her legs rest on his lap, and she dozes off for a while. It almost brings him to tears; it’s been so long since they’ve been intimate like this. He wants to preserve every second, make himself realise again and again what he has and how lucky he is. It’s as warm as he remembers it when they arrive in the early evening. Several years have passed since they’ve last been here. Once they got in deep with Hayak, they lost time for little getaways like this. Everything had to be business with Hayak, so they hadn’t ventured much further than Mexico in a while. He knows Nadia has missed her family dearly, so he hopes this trip will be what she needs. He’s missed them too; after he lost his parents and became estranged from his brother, they became his family in many ways.
When they land, she calls her mother to tell her they’re here, and he can tell they’re both excited to see each other. The same thing happens with her sister, and by the sounds of it, the whole family’s getting together for dinner. They go to the hotel to drop off their things, and he adores watching how she’s unable to contain her grin. She can’t be bothered pretending anymore, and to him, that’s a good sign.
“What?” She asks, blowing a strand of hair from her face as she tries to hurry.
“You’re happy.” He muses.
Nadia blushes a little. “I didn’t realise how happy I was to be home until I looked out the window as we landed.”
There’s another thing that they’re both aware of, but neither wants to bring up. He’d hate to see that smile disappear.
“You sure you’ll be alright with Anna’s, uh…”
She nods. “I want to see my nephew, Armando.” She says, meeting his eyes. “He’s my family.”
He takes a few steps towards her, taking her hands in his. “We’re here to do whatever you want to do. This is about spending time with the people we care about and who care about us.”
“Then let’s not keep my mother waiting. You know how she hates it when we’re late.”
“She’s never going to let that go, is she?”
Nadia grins. “Nope. That was your one first impression, and you blew it.”
“How was I supposed to know everyone drives like maniacs here?”
She takes him by the hand, rolling her eyes. “Come on.”
—
They’re standing on her mother’s porch. The door opens almost immediately, and he watches as she takes her with open arms. Nadia and Anna, her older sister, are a lot like her. All of them are very headstrong, don't take no for an answer, and are fiercely protective of those they care about. When Nadia first introduced him to them, he’d received less scrutiny than expected. Of course, some of these things made more sense now that he knew he hadn’t been her first husband. It seemed that all of them had wanted to pretend Kamdar didn’t exist. He couldn’t blame them; he was the charming man who took their little girl away from her home. Arman realised that the fact that he came from nothing and didn’t have much to offer had obviously meant something to their family. His humble roots had made them more receptive to him. Her mother doesn’t look terribly pissed at him; he wonders whether Nadia confided in her about Thony; they spoke often on the phone, but with all of the worries about the FBI, he understands if that has tapered off over the past few months.
As they enter, they can hear children laughing, and he clutches her hand a little, reminding her that he is there. Her father shakes his hand and pats him on the shoulder, just the way his father used to. He kisses his daughter on the cheek, telling her how much he’s missed her and Nadia’s teary now. The house smells like good food, there are photos everywhere, captured across generations, and it makes him nostalgic for his own childhood home. Eventually, her sister emerges, with Mariana at her feet and her newborn son, Matteo, in her arms. Mariana is almost four; she was born shortly before he and Nadia had expected their son. It’s hard not to think about that when he sees her, but he and Nadia love her as their niece nonetheless. Before Nadia can hug her sister, Mariana bolts towards her, and Nadia lifts her up with a grin on her face, commenting on how much bigger she is compared to last time.
“Congratulations.” He says warmly to Anna, who has an understanding smile on her face as his eyes flit down to the baby.
“It’s good to see you both. We’ve missed you.”
“Where’s Bruno?” Anna’s husband has always been like a brother to him.
“He’s outside.”
They talk, they eat, they appreciate each other’s company. Anna and Nadia disappear somewhere while he helps his father-in-law. Eventually, he finds Nadia in one of the bedrooms, holding Matteo, who is now asleep. The sight pains him so much, but he’s so admirable of her bravery. She sniffles and looks up at him.
“You okay?”
She nods with a watery smile. “I’m fine.”
He shuts the door behind him, leaning against the wall and simply watching the two of them.
“I-I hope you realise that I was never jealous of Thony because I thought you were in love with her.” She starts after a beat, speaking quietly. “I wasn’t really worried about you spending time with another woman. I… I was worried that you would leave me because she had something I couldn’t give you.”
Arman shakes his head. “The only person I’ve ever wanted a family with is you. I would never give you up for that.” He reassures. “But we have fulfilling lives. It’s not… it’s not something I need anymore.”
Nadia hums in assent. “I agree. As nice as this is, I… I’ve moved on from praying for it to happen to us. We have each other.”
She’s right. They’re the main part of each other’s lives, and it again reminds him of his stupidity for letting her slip down his priority list. Nadia stands and sets the baby down before walking over to him and snaking her arms around his waist.
—
They end up at the beach the next morning. It’s off-peak season, so it’s quiet. He’s finished reapplying sunscreen to her back, and she’s stretched out like a lazy cat on the chaise. She’s doing better than he thought she would after so much time around kids. It’s a reminder of how far she’s come. But this is a nice way for them to decompress. Despite her sunglasses, he can tell she’s looking past him at someone. He turns to see a woman roughly her age wearing a red one-piece swimsuit. Her long reddish-brown hair cascades down her shoulders, a floral tattoo adorns the centre of her back, and her smile is infectious.
“Do you know her?” He asks, looking back at her.
“Know her? I slept with her.”
He chokes on his drink, and she chuckles. “I’ve been having my rendezvous long before I moved to America, Armando.”
What surprises him but doesn’t concern him - he’s never been one to criticise a lover for being promiscuous - is that this happens multiple times. They’ve visited Argentina before, so he’s not sure why this hasn’t come up. It’s not his business who she’s slept with. He’s not saying that. But he does have a jealous side that she likes to use to rile him up, in a good way, of course.
“Have you slept with everyone in your town who isn't related to you?”
Nadia lets out a hearty laugh. “Oh, don’t be jealous. I’m sure they’d let you join in if you asked. They always tend to listen to me.”
He smiles wryly. That he knows is true, based on the parties she used to throw at their house.
She snorts after a beat, grabbing his thigh. “I’m kidding. I just like seeing you jealous. I’ve only slept with some of the people you pointed out.”
The sun is setting now, and they watch it in silence, their hands intertwined. He feels a weight lift from his chest just by being here with her without thinking about what Thony might ask him to do next, about what could possibly fuck up and put them in danger again.
Nadia looks at him. “Thank you so much for this.” She says softly.
“You’re welcome.”
Eventually, they make it back to the hotel, too tired to want to go out. They’re somewhat used to being night owls from running the club, but there’s a pleasant sleepiness that’s come over both of them. Both of them have showered, and she’s already gotten into bed.
“Where are you going?”
He juts his thumb to the door. “I… the other room?” He’d booked a separate hotel room since they weren’t exactly sleeping together right now. He had been promoted back to the spare room of their home after he told Thony to leave, but they’d been yet to lie next to each other again.
Nadia pats the empty spot on the bed beside her. “I’m in a good mood right now, so I want you with me.” She's smiling, and her eyes are shut like she’s half-nodding off.
He strips down to his boxers and tentatively slides in next to her. It’s a warm night, but she tugs him closer to her and drapes an arm over his waist.
“Love you.” She mumbles.
“Love you too.”
They’ve been working long nights at La Habana and Fastlane, so they’re exhausted. She’s tiredly wiping her eyes as she walks into their bedroom, wearing her bathrobe. Little does she know, he’s got a surprise for her. He finishes preparing it while she’s in the shower. When she catches sight of the massage bed and candles in their living room, it stops her in her tracks.
“What’s this?”
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed. “You’ve been working hard, so let me help you relax.”
She smiles appreciatively, and he watches her undress before he instructs her to lie face down on the bed. She folds her arms to use them as a pillow, and he grabs the oil, only stopping to drape a towel over her lower half. He’s hesitant with his movements. They might be back to cuddling and sleeping next to each other, but nothing further. This is not some ploy for sex; this is just him wanting to do something nice for her. He hopes she sees it that way, too. Arman places his thumbs beneath her shoulder blades and slowly starts to make circles. She sighs, relaxing further into the bed.
“Is this alright?”
“A little harder.” She mumbles, humming in approval as he does so. His hands make their way towards her neck, to an area that’s usually tense for her. He pushes her hair aside and massages for a while. Nadia then informs him that her lower back is sore from standing and offering advice to the patrons at Fastlane, so he decides to focus there. He continues to do this, listening to her requests, and by the sounds of it, she’s rather pleased with his efforts. She asks him to massage her legs, so he does, quietly telling him that he doesn’t need to cover up her ass with a towel since it's something he's seen many, many times, but also appreciates his boundaries. He works at her hamstrings and calves; they did walk a lot in Argentina, so he’s happy to take care of her like this. By the end of it, if he wasn’t mistaken, she was almost falling asleep. They’d both been sleeping better since he kicked his ass into gear, but there were so many months of fatigue and arguing that they had to make up for.
“Am I going to have to carry you to bed?” He jokes.
She chuckles. “No, but there’s something else you can do.”
As she says this, he’s setting the oil down, but when he turns around, she’s on her side, resting her head on her elbow, giving him a sultry look. She motions with her finger for him to come closer, and he certainly can’t argue with what she’s offering, so he bends down beside her and allows her to press his lips to hers. Nadia cups his cheek. Before he knows it, she’s working at the hem of his t-shirt with the other hand, her hand sliding up his stomach. He keeps kissing her as he assists her in taking off his top and pulling down his boxers. He wants this with her so much. He’s missed this and wants to spend his sweet time making up for it. But right now, the most important thing is being honest and open with each other, which he hasn’t been.
“Wait…” He says, pulling away.
“What?” She asks, thumbing at his cheek.
He takes a breath. “The last time we did this… I wasn’t totally honest with you. I didn’t just initiate it because I wanted to. I… I was stalling so Thony could get the ledgers from Fastlane using your keycard.”
“I know,” Nadia reveals, the hurt plain in her eyes. “You were… tense. I knew something else was up, but I didn’t stop you because I’d just missed you too much.”
“I’m so sorry.” He says, brushing his hand over hers. “I can’t believe I used you like that. If… if you want to give this more time, then-”
Nadia shakes her head. “I want you, Armando. Please.”
Hearing her say that leaves no doubt in his mind that they're going to make it through this and that they won't plateau, they will keep healing together. So he's going to do everything to show her he's thankful for the opportunity.
The massage bed is a little narrow, so it’s probably smarter to go back upstairs onto their king-sized mattress, so he lifts her into his arms, moving his mouth to her neck. She wraps her legs around his waist, and she’s a little slippery from the oil, so he straightens up a little and carries her to their bedroom. He sets her down, and he stretches out alongside her. Her hands creep lower. She’s taking her time to caress him the way he did. Arman takes one of her nipples into his mouth, and she digs her nails into his back. She pauses for a moment, her hand stilling in a specific spot. He looks down and realises it’s the scar from when he was stabbed in prison. She shuffles down and kisses it softly, then looks up at him. The words are unspoken; she could have lost him in prison, all because he’d betrayed Hayak. While he was somewhat glad to be rid of the man who had so much control over his life, he sometimes wished he hadn’t made so many enemies out of his associates.
“I’m right here.” He whispers.
She nods, and they continue touching each other slowly until she grows impatient and straddles him with a playful growl, planting her hands on his shoulders.
Their eyes meet, and he’s almost floored. How could he have allowed himself to let this go? How could he have risked everything and almost lost her? He tells her he loves her, the way he did when he married her, with nothing short of utter devotion, and she says it back.
And he knows in this moment that he’s going to spend every second of tonight proving those words to be true.
The past four months have been healing for them. They’ve continued to talk about things, no longer feeling like they have to bury issues until they escalate. Their lives are simpler now. They have their clubs, they have their parties, and they have each other, just as it used to be. He hasn’t initiated anything new, simply waiting for her to take the lead and tell him what she’s ready for. Of course, it hasn’t been perfect, and really, what relationship is? Although Thony seems to have disappeared for good now - he suspects she’s gone to Manila to get Fiona - her presence still lurks anytime they discuss the past. Nadia has made him very aware of how much he’s missed, how many times she’s needed him, and he hasn’t been there because of Thony. He hates it so much, but he needs to hear it. He needs to keep hearing it as he makes up for what he’s done. She doesn’t bring it up to make a point of it; she brings it up so he can understand.
On their good days, though, it’s like when they first dated. Everything feels refreshed and new again. Arman suspects that will wear off a little at some point, but if there’s a sign of such a thing happening soon, he can’t see it. They’re better than they’ve ever been, and he wants to preserve that so dearly. They make time for what’s important now. They travel and see her family more regularly, they go on date nights without needing a reason, and, well, they’re having sex more often, too, which is never a bad thing. Still, he hasn’t pushed the issue of their marriage and the legalities of it all. Most of what they earn is solely in Nadia’s name now, and he doesn’t feel the need to change that.
Which is why he has all the documents for a prenup ready as soon as she comes into the office. He’s more nervous than the first time he proposed to her, and for good reason, he supposes. His breath catches in his throat when she enters and asks him why he looks like a deer in headlights. He goes to speak but comes up empty. All the words he’s prepared are slipping through his mind like a sieve. So, he does the only thing he knows will make the message clear and drops to one knee, opening the small box with shaking hands.
“Armando?…” She breathes.
“I love you more than anything in the world. You bring light to my life. You remind me why I’m alive each and every day, and I am so grateful to have you.” He’s choking up, to nobody’s surprise, and she’s clasped her hands over her mouth. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m so thankful that you’ve given me a second chance to make it up to you. I-I also need you to know that regardless of what your answer is, I’m not going to stop making it up to you. Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. So, Nadia, will you… marry me again?”
She nods, grabbing his face, and their lips crash. He lets out a sigh of relief against her and tells her that he loves her in every language he can speak. They pull away briefly so he can slide the ring on her finger, laughing almost giddily. She seems marvelled by it.
“This… this is-“
“A bigger version of the one I gave you all those years ago.” He smiles. “You deserve an upgrade.”
Nadia flexes her hand, admiring it, before furrowing her brow. “How did I not see it come out of our account?”
“Because it came out of mine.”
Her eyes widen. “But you…”
“Don’t have much, yeah. And…” He grabs the papers from behind him. “If you’d like, I’ve got a prenup drafted, which states that everything that’s currently in your name will stay in your name, regardless. I won’t take away your hard work.”
Nadia gives them a glance, seemingly trusting their contents, but is understandably preoccupied. She kisses him again, echoing his ‘I love you’s. When she leans back to look at him, they’re both crying but cannot contain their smiles.
“So… you went and risked everything by going broke to find me a ring?” She asks.
He grins. “Anything for you.”
“What was your plan if I said no?” She teases, cupping his face.
He laughs. “That was a risk I was willing to take.”